Ten Years in the Sky:
Remembering my Dad during COVID-19
The moments in life your brain vividly recalls are fascinating to me. There are moments I want to remember better but cannot quite piece together all the details. Humans are so complex. That is why we can act a certain way and truly think it is in response to something. But over time you realize your reaction had nothing to do with that thing at all.
For me, I can recall the series of events that happened 10 years ago on April 29, yet it all still seems far from reality. That was the last day I saw my Dad on Earth.
Having more time at home, my mind always drifts off to thinking about him. I wonder how he would handle things like this. It would be fun if he would be here to help teach at “Mom School.” The students are very open to a new teacher.
Overall, I just miss him. I miss his hugs. The way he thought of others, always. How he made me validated and understood. More than anything, the way he just loved.
My brother, Dad and me
Having this 10-year anniversary during a pandemic also makes my heart focus on those dealing with addiction. There are people struggling with their own battles at this very moment. Yet it is more challenging to navigate during this time of so much change. I admire the way the Mental Health Association of Oklahoma is being vocal with ways to cope. The way 12&12 is still serving others, no matter what is going on. Because addiction is a disease. One that knows no boundaries.
Looking back over ten years, I often wonder if my Dad could have been saved. Since there is so much more knowledge, research, less stigma and different treatment options. What would his life look like if he was here today?
My Dad was an amazing football player and went on to help with the Bishop Kelley Junior Comets
There is never a doubt that he would want my family to be happy. To fight for others who need it most. Believe in people when they are at their lowest. And to never settle at anything in life. Believing these things helps push me along on the days when missing him gets heavy.
I think about all of the people I have gotten to meet. People I truly believe he pushed in my path. How I have gotten to be around some of the fiercest addiction fighters out there. Getting to learn more about people who have been fighting for those with addiction for longer than I ever realized. Then I also get to cheer on many new friends who are all in recovery.
One thing I also know that if you are struggling right now with mental illness, addiction, health issues or anything that is breaking you down there is hope. Please ask for help. Or look into avenues to work on these things that weigh you down. Life is so short and getting that weight off will allow you to feel free.
This week magical clouds appeared after a storm. I have never seen clouds like these. Some even had Hues of yellow. It felt like a gift from you. Love you always, your baby duck.
While 12&12 is not currently accepting drop-off donations, you can always donate money through their website, or ship them items directly from Amazon. They are currently in need of the following, for both men and women:
- Sports bras