We’re sticking around town for Spring Break, but that doesn’t mean we haven’t had a good time! Joss is enrolled in a half-day camp, allowing me to save some money while still getting work done and making sure he’s entertained.

On Tuesday, we had a little adventure, so that’s what I’ll be focusing on for this post! Maybe you’ll want to try out some of these activities.

Code Ninjas

Our adventure started off with a trip way out (for us) to Code Ninjas at 101st and Memorial. Joss has been interested in learning coding so he can make his own games, so I scheduled a free tour. I’m not sure if it’s in the monetary or time budget for us at the moment, but it was neat to learn more about the program and see the facility. He got to make a mini game in the time we were there and really loved it.

Apparently, they also do game nights on Fridays that you can attend even if you’re not enrolled in the program, so we may check that out at some point. The kids get together and play Minecraft or Roblox on private servers. And pizza is included in the price as well.

Q-Cuts

Code Ninjas is located in a strip of businesses along with an Ulta, Miller Swim School Tulsa South, a Hallmark…and Q-Cuts! I wasn’t expecting this, but when I drove past and saw the sign promising a fun haircut experience for kids, I had to ask Joss about it. He’s been growing his hair out and it had gotten to a point where it was a little harder to keep brushed/out of his face. When he saw the photo a kid playing a video game while getting his hair cut, he was in.

Q-cuts has a mini arcade area where you can play games while you wait, fun chairs for younger kids (like an airplane and pink car), and chairs in front of TV screens for older kids. Plus, a popcorn machine and treasure chest full of lollipops. The haircut took about 10-15 minutes altogether, and only cost about $20-25. It was Joss’s first “real” haircut (that wasn’t done by me), and overall a great, easy experience!

Searching for Boba

Gung Ho

Since we’re not that far south very often, I was looking for fun things to do in the area. Gung Ho south Memorial location was less than a mile down Memorial, so we swung by there first. If you’ve never been, Gung Ho is an “anime-themed” restaurant serving ramen, poke, bubble tea and more. This location has a cotton candy vending machine I was eager to try out. Alas, it was out of order when we were there. We just got our food to go, but if we’d stayed longer, they do have a few arcade games and claw machines if you’re interested.

Oki Mochi

Yes, Gung Ho serves boba, but we didn’t order any this time because I was eager to check out another boba place off South Memorial: Oki Mochi. We headed there next, braving some awful construction but finally making it. Only to discover they were randomly closed that day! So sad! Thankfully, I’d purchased a couple of their mochi donuts at the Pan-Asia Supermarket a few days prior, so I have had a chance to try their food recently. But I hope we can return soon because I’d love to try it out in-person!

Freezing Cow

Striking out at Oki Mochi, I had one last idea: Freezing Cow. Located at 71st and Memorial, Freezing Cow is better known for its rolling ice cream. However, they serve boba as well. I’d wanted to go for years now, but for some reason had thought they’d closed at one point. Their sign out front is pretty faded, but they’re still there making delicious ice cream!

We chose the Cookie Monster. They take liquid vanilla ice cream, chop up Oreo chunks into it on top of a cold metal slab. Then, they mix it back and forth with paddles until the ice cream starts to freeze. Then it is spread into a thin layer, finishes freezing, and is then rolled up into strips. Each flavor comes with up to two free toppings. We topped our cookies and cream with marshmallow creme and two strawberry Pocky sticks. Delicious!! For milk tea, we went with honeydew with mango jelly and tapioca pearls. Joss preferred the beverage because he doesn’t like getting brain freeze. Thankfully, I was happy to finish off the ice cream. 🙂

At this point, it was definitely time to head home and finally eat dinner!

Rite of Spring at Philbrook

This was the next day, but I’ll just mention it because it was so lovely. Each year, Philbrook hosts a members-only “Rite of Spring” event. They welcome the warmer weather by turning on the fountains with a nice ceremony. I’d never been before, so we made it happen this year. The ceremony consisted of some thoughts on the significance of spring and water, followed by a beautiful violin solo. Finally, a volunteer led the countdown, and the fountains turned on!

After that, guests could enjoy refreshments and time in the gardens. It was probably the earliest I’d ever visited Philbrook, and I’m so glad we did! Not only were the gardens full of the most beautiful birdsong, but we saw a great blue heron up close in the pond!

How has your spring break been so far? Have you gotten to go anywhere new that you’d recommend? Tell us about it in the comments!

I’m hoping to catch the Mega Millions Leprechaun since his pot of gold jackpot is up to $977,000,000, so we can have a HUGE family vacation! But until then, the kids and I are just going to continue our “staycation” close to home for this year’s spring break.

First, gotta get a manicure for Spring Break!

Then it was off to Broken Arrow.

Shenanigans in Broken Arrow!

Last Saturday, we went to ShamRock The Rose District in Broken Arrow’s Rose District. This event benefits A Soldier’s Wish. They granted two deserving veterans, Dustin Blankenship and Carl Wells, their wish!

I love a good street party. The weather was perfect. I lucked out and found a great parking spot! Remember, I’m a dad, we are ecstatic about good parking spots. So, the luck of the Irish was already with us.

We first checked out the petting zoo.

And ran into Sledge! Let’s go, Oilers!

I found some friends from Cox Media Group:

Checked out the band Glam R Us. Guess what kind of music they play!

Waiting in the wings was drummer extraordinaire for Weston Horn and the Hush, Mat Donaldson.

And, of course, we HAD to hit Rocket Fizz on the way out!

Coming up, Spring Break, part 3!

Six-year-old Callister shows up at my house every Saturday evening with his little sister, a toothbrush, and his favorite stuffed animals. Tradition demands that we order Hideaway Pizza, watch a Disney movie, and they spend the night. This past Saturday night, Callister showed up with something extra – the two teeth he had just lost! His parents asked me if the tooth fairy could visit my house, and I enthusiastically agreed.

It had been almost thirty years since a tooth fairy had been at my house, but I was excited for a reunion with the magical little sprite. After checking with my daughter about what the tooth fairy typically left at their house, I was all in. I believe that it’s imperative that I “stay in my lane” and respect the parents’ wishes. If my tooth fairy leaves a twenty dollar bill for a tooth, it will be rough the next time she leaves a quarter at their house. I don’t want to be one of “those” Boomer grandparents.

Being on the same page about the tooth fairy may seem trivial, but it represents respect for the parents’ authority. Since we moved so close, it’s even more essential to have mutual respect and boundaries. I’m grateful for the leeway my daughter and son-in-law give us with the grandkids, allowing us to break a few minor rules when they stay with us. I never want to do anything to lose that trust and, with it, the special privileges we enjoy as grandparents.

Last weekend’s tooth fairy re-enactment reminded me of the saying currently making the social media rounds. There is usually a video of grandparents with young children and some sentimental music playing as these words come on the screen, “There’s a common misperception that your parents love their grandchildren more than they love you when, really, it’s because you produced something that reminds them every day of you as a child, and it’s like loving them twice.”

I can’t argue with that sentiment, but I don’t think a grandparents’ love for their grandchildren is that simple. I don’t love my grandchildren more than I love my children, but I do love them in a different way. Loving my grandchildren is like eating my dessert without having to eat the vegetables first. As a grandmother, I have all the fun without the responsibility. I don’t have the burden of making crucial decisions or worrying about their future. I live in the moment with them, reveling in the pure joy of who they are. Every time I see them, I enthusiastically greet them with open arms, saying, “There they are, the most perfect children in the world!” And I sincerely mean it! It’s a strange coincidence that all grandparents seem to have the most perfect children in the world as grandchildren!

My six-year-old grandson replies, “Oh, Grandmom, all grandparents say that to their grandkids!” He says that, but I see the smile on his face and the light in his eyes, and I suspect he relishes hearing my over-the-top proclamations of love. Who doesn’t want to be adored like that?

The tooth fairy did make a visit to my house Saturday night. When my grandson woke up Sunday morning, he excitedly ran to the dresser where he had left his teeth in a little envelope. When Callister saw that she had left him a note and a dollar for each tooth, he was surprised and happy. Then he slyly looked at me and said, “So, are all the tooth fairies actually grandmothers?” I’ll stay in my lane and let his parents answer that question!

I have always wanted to take my kids to Florida for Spring Break, but after the recent violence in Miami and shootings on the beach in Jacksonville, I am super happy just making this a staycation year.

We began our spring break with 800,000 Lego bricks!

Another Brick in the Wall

Thank you Tulsa Botanic Garden for the invite to get a sneak peek at the amazing sculptures built out of 800,000 Lego bricks. The exhibit is called Sean Kenny’s Nature Pop! It will be on display till May 9.

My kids Angel (10 years old) and Atticus (14 years old) and I had never been to the Garden, but I’ve been anxious to see their new pond addition. And it did not disappoint!

I loved the drive out there through the beautiful rolling hills of the Osage Nation Reservation. The fall foliage must be breathtaking. As we walked up to the entrance, all three of us were taken aback with the wonderful smell of fresh blooming flowers!

And then it was into the main reception area, where we were greeted by CEO and President Chuck Lamson. They had a fun spread of cookies, sweets treats, lemonade and even local craft beers.

And then, it was off to see the exhibit!

My daughter’s favorite. She has a thing about foxes.

My favorite was the Dodo Birds:

It was fun running into my local celebrity friend Julie Chin!

Part 2 of Spring Break 2024 “shenanigans” is coming up!

Over the past year I’ve wondered if there is a “right” age for a child to have a cell phone. To be more specific, an iPhone. It’s come to my mind when our family travels and also when Isabelle uses my phone occasionally to take pictures of something then asks when she will get one. Phones are complicated because they can provide a means of safety, but when a kid gets one, the temptation to get on social media is likely to accelerate. I won’t get started on social media in this post — that’s a rabbit hole for another day. 

Now, back to the age-appropriateness question. I think it depends entirely on the family’s situation and the child’s maturity level. Some children go between parents’ houses and some travel with sports teams, for example. These could be reasons for a child to have a cell phone. However, parents and guardians have to be careful to keep kids safe by controlling what children can and cannot access through a phone. Meanwhile, kids have to understand screen time privacy concerns and screen time boundaries. It can get complicated quickly. 

A few months ago, my husband and I started talking about whether we were going to dive into the cell phone world for elementary-aged Isabelle. Our concerns were mostly travel related. When traveling, Isabelle previously used an Apple AirTag bracelet in case, heaven forbid, our family got separated. Was there a good step between this and iPhone world, though? We hoped so. That’s when my husband started looking into smartwatches for kids. We were both impressed with the offerings.

The Garmin Bounce

After researching, our choice was the Garmin Bounce. We subscribe and, through the Garmin Jr. app, we can send text messages to Isabelle’s watch. She can respond back to us and to contacts we have approved. This means just our family, for now. There is also two-way voice messaging. On the safety side, there is an assistance feature, and we can track her location. 

When comparing smartwatches for kids, one thing that caught our eye about the Garmin Bounce was its repeated praise as a great option for active kids. Isabelle is an athlete with extra energy to spare, and the Bounce allows her to track sports and fitness. There are rewards for hitting fitness goals (and doing chores!). It’s also waterproof, has academic games, etc. Isabelle is genuinely learning when she uses it! One of our favorite features is that we can set it to “school mode,” which means that she cannot play around with it during school days, though it still records her fitness. 

For us, the smartwatch is a happy medium between the AirTag and iPhone. We needed a travel safety solution and ended up with something engaging for our child. Isabelle is setting new fitness goals, playing math games, and learning fun facts about countries. The iPhone can definitely wait…for now!

Are you wondering whether or not your kid is ready for an iPhone? Here are some questions to ask yourself:

1. Why does my child need an iPhone?

Determine the primary reasons for getting them an iPhone. Is it for safety, to stay in touch, educational purposes, or social reasons?

2. Is my child responsible enough to handle an iPhone?

Assess whether they are mature enough to use an iPhone responsibly, including using it appropriately.

3. What rules will you have for phone usage?

Will you set clear guidelines regarding screen time, app usage, internet access, privacy, and behavior online? How will you discuss those things?

4. What measures will you take to ensure your child’s online safety?

Are you prepared to take on parental controls, monitoring apps, and discussing internet safety practices?

5. How will you monitor your child’s social media use?

Will you let your child use social media and, if so, how will you monitor activity? 

6. Does your child understand online privacy?

Is your child able to grasp the concept of online privacy and can they understand the importance of not sharing personal information online and respecting others’ privacy?

7. Does your child know about cyberbullying?

Is your child prepared to report cyberbullying to you immediately if it happens?

8. What will be the consequence if the phone is misused?

Will you restrict phone use or take the phone away if it is misused by your child? How will you talk to them about this?

9. Will you discuss the concept of a digital footprint?

Will your child understand what to share and not share online and that things shared can have permanence? 

Welcome to Bixby First Methodist Church, a vibrant and inclusive community nestled in the heart of Bixby, Oklahoma. Our church offers a warm and welcoming environment for families, where faith flourishes and friendships thrive. Explore our diverse range of programs catering to all ages, including dynamic youth groups, engaging children’s ministries and uplifting worship services. Join us on our journey of faith, service, and fellowship as we seek to make a positive impact in our community and beyond.

Sunday Mornings

On Sunday mornings the nursery is available for children ages 6 weeks-3 years old. The nursery is open from 8:20 a.m.-12:15 p.m. with wonderful workers who are excited to care for your child!

Children’s Church is offered during the 8:30 and 11:00 a.m. services for children ages 3-6. Children’s church provides a time of kid-style worship songs, a story from the Bible, and a craft correlating with the story. Activity bags are available during the services for children who are older than six.

Children’s Sunday School classes begin at 9:45 a.m. Children who are in pre-K meet in the children’s classroom downstairs. Children in Kindergarten-6th grade will gather in the classrooms in the children’s area on the second floor. We are excited to help your children know Jesus, grow in their faith, and show the love of Jesus to others!

Holy Week 2024

Maundy Thursday, March 28

Maundy Thursday Service at 6:30 p.m.

Good Friday, March 29

Tenebrae Service of Darkness at 6:30 p.m.

Easter Sunday, March 31

Contemporary Worship at 8:30 a.m.

Easter Egg Hunt at 10:30 a.m.

Traditional Worship at 11:00 a.m.

The benefits of eating together as a family are clear.

Time spent around the table as a family increases family stability, bonding, self-esteem and resiliency. Studies by the Family Dinner Project, through Massachusetts General Hospital, show family dinners even lower rates of depression and anxiety in children.

When my children were young, nearly every meal was shared together at the table. Setting the table – sometimes even super casually with paper plates and napkins – was a symbolic way of letting my kids know that our family was important and worth the time it took to sit and eat and talk together.

Weeknight family dinners look different now that my children are in middle school. Even in their elementary school years, it was hard to find consistency at dinnertime. We caught up while warming up leftovers, with kids at barstools or bent over the kitchen table to finish their homework.

But because the benefits of family dinners are undeniable – and because it’s something I love – we try to capture time to sit together for dinner, despite the chaos of kids’ after-school activities, sports and homework.

Even if you’re only able to gather for dinner once a week, that’s great! Make that one day a week count with fun, laughter and maybe even a game. Weeknight dinners may not be possible, but how about a Saturday or Sunday night?

Designating one day a week as family night is something older kids might groan about, but they’ll likely enjoy time spent with the people who love them most. Make it fun by making food everyone loves or making something where everyone can help cook. Homemade pizza, grilled hamburgers or big sub sandwiches with lots of toppings are all fun and can be customized so that everyone is happy.

Ideas for Family Fun Night

• Dance Party – Crank up some music after dinner and dance with your kids.
• Dress Up – Put an invitation on the refrigerator letting everyone know the dress code for dinner. Dress like royalty. Dress like you’re going to the beach. Wear the craziest thing in your closet. Or let the kids make the dress code!
• Dinner and a Game – Make a charcuterie dinner of nibbles and snacks to eat while you play board games, cards or dominoes.
• Punch and Paint – Serve punch or juice in fancy cups and set up some sketchpads or easels for painting or drawing after dinner.

Family Read-Alouds

Reading aloud to kids doesn’t just have to happen before bedtime. Finding a book the whole family will love is a fun way to end the evening. Right after dinner, entice the kids with a little dessert – fruit dipped in chocolate, muffins, even applesauce – to enjoy while you read.

Here are some books to consider:

• The Penderwicks by Jeanne Birdsall
• The One and Only Ivan by Katherine Applegate
• Charlotte’s Web by E.B. White
• Harry Potter by J.K. Rowling
• The Vanderbeekers of 141^st Street by Karina Yan Glaser

Recipes

Try one of these recipes for family dinner night. These kid-approved recipes will bring everyone to the table.

French Bread Pizza

• 1 loaf French bread
• ½ stick butter, softened
• ½ teaspoon garlic powder
• 1 ½ cups pizza sauce
• 2 cups shredded mozzarella cheese
• ¼ cup shredded parmesan cheese
• Toppings: pepperoni, sausage, pineapple, bell peppers, bacon, basil

1. Preheat oven to 450 degrees.
2. Cut the loaf of bread in half lengthwise. In a small bowl, combine butter and garlic. Spread mixture over the bread. Place on a baking sheet – cut-side up – and bake 5 minutes or until lightly browned.
3. Remove from the oven and spread pizza sauce on the top. Top with cheeses, then toppings. Bake 12-15 minutes or until browned and bubbly. Cool 5 minutes before slicing.

Spaghetti Pie

• 1 tablespoon butter, softened
• 1 (8-ounce) package spaghetti
• ⅓ cup grated Parmesan cheese
• 2 eggs, beaten
• 2 tablespoons butter
• 1 pound lean ground beef
• 1 jar marinara sauce
• 1 cup ricotta or cottage cheese
• ½ cup shredded mozzarella cheese

1. Preheat the oven to 350 degrees. Grease a 10-inch pie plate with 1 tablespoon butter.
2. Bring a large pot of water to a boil. Cook spaghetti, drain, then return to the pot.
3. Stir parmesan cheese, beaten eggs and 2 tablespoons butter into hot spaghetti until well combined. Form spaghetti mixture into a crust in the prepared pie plate and set aside.
4. Cook ground beef until crumbly and browned. Drain fat, then add marinara sauce, stirring until heated through.
5. Spread ricotta or cottage cheese over spaghetti crust, then pour in beef-marinara mixture.
6. Bake in the preheated oven for 20 minutes. Sprinkle mozzarella cheese over the top of pie and continue baking until cheese is melted, about 5 minutes more.

Easy Cheesy Enchiladas

• 15 corn tortillas
• 16 ounces shredded Mexican cheese blend
• Enchilada Sauce:
• 3 tablespoons vegetable oil
• 2 tablespoons all-purpose flour
• 3 tablespoons chili powder
• 1/2 teaspoon onion powder
• 1/2 teaspoon dried oregano
• 1/4 teaspoon salt
• 1/4 teaspoon garlic powder
• 1/4 teaspoon cumin
• 1/4 cup tomato paste
• 2 cups chicken broth

1. Preheat oven to 350 degrees. Butter or spray a casserole dish.
2. To make enchilada sauce: Heat oil, then add flour, whisking to cook for about a minute. Add seasonings, whisking until toasted and fragrant – a couple of minutes. Add tomato paste, then add a slow, steady stream of chicken broth, whisking to create a sauce. Turn up heat to medium-high, simmering until thickened. This should take 5 minutes or less. Cool slightly.
3. To assemble, spread ½ cup enchilada sauce into the bottom of the casserole dish. Wrap tortillas (about 6 at a time) in a damp paper towel and microwave 30 seconds to warm. This will help soften them so they won’t break when rolling.
4. Fill each tortilla with ¼ cup cheese, rolling until snug. Place seam-side down into the dish, continuing until the dish has been filled. Pour enchilada sauce over the top, completely covering the tortillas. Sprinkle about 1 cup of the remaining cheese on top.
5. Bake 20-30 minutes or until the cheese is melted and sauce is bubbly.

Natalie Mikles is a mom of three. She writes about food, sharing recipes for busy families and picky eaters. She has been recognized for her food columns as well as features on families and issues affecting local children. She loves pizza and movie nights with her family.

St. Patrick’s Day is approaching! Originally a religious Irish celebration, it’s now widely enjoyed for Irish culture. Whether Irish or not, religious or not, it is a wonderful holiday to celebrate. Besides Tulsa events, consider these at-home options.

Organize a treasure hunt

Who doesn’t love a good treasure hunt? You can find clover stickers or other themed stickers at the store to lead kids on a hunt to a “pot of gold.” The pot can be filled with anything fun such as chocolate coins. Having each person in the family take turns creating a treasure trail turns it into a hide-and-seek activity. I’ve heard of one family that used glitter to create a trail and though that sounds lovely, I’m sure it was a bit tricky to clean up! One year I attempted green food dye in our front yard and that is something I will never, ever do again. 

Crafts

There are fun St. Patrick’s Day crafts you can do with construction paper, scissors, crayons, and tape. One of those is the timeless leprechaun hat. Shamrock cutouts are another one. If you want to get really fancy, head to a local craft store and get some plain green headbands and use craft glue to stick gems on them. There are usually other jewelry items like this at the craft store as well. Needless to say, anything with glue is a must-supervise activity! Don’t forget paper chains – remember those from being a kid? Consider creating a rainbow paper chain for St. Patrick’s Day. 

Themed books

Do you own any St. Patrick’s Day themed books? We do. One of our favorites is “Clever Tom And The Leprechaun: An Old Irish Story.” There are plenty of other books to check out at the local library for every occasion. For older kids, consider looking at history and/or travel books to learn more about Ireland. 

Cooking

If you are staying in this weekend, consider doing something fun in the kitchen. On the sweet side, kids might enjoy making green cupcakes, shamrock-shaped cookies, or anything with green as the theme. If you are looking for something traditionally Irish, don’t forget corned beef and cabbage (one of our family’s favorite meals). Consider streaming traditional Irish folk music while you cook.

Plant something

Thank goodness we are finally getting warmer weather! Since green is the theme – this could be a great weekend to plant something green. Our family enjoys planting a small garden in our backyard each year, and we just started yesterday with more planting to come in the next few weeks. Both kids love watching the garden grow and using the veggies in our meals. 

At-home activities to celebrate St. Patrick’s Day can entertain and engage kids while teaching them about Irish culture. If you can get out and take part in Tulsa community activities this weekend, I highly recommend that as well!  

Many of you may be fortunate enough to be traveling somewhere for a spring break getaway next week. If you’re flying, I want to share these great travel tips that I received from the Tulsa International Airport. It’s especially important to know what to expect when you’re traveling with children – and talk to your children about what to expect as well. It will make traveling a little smoother for everyone (check out tip #5 below). Safe travels!

If you’re a frequent traveler, some of these tips will be familiar, but some are related to new amenities at the airport, so take a minute to review before you travel.

1. Plan ahead:

• Pack smart and remember to check the Transportation Security Administration’s guidelines for prohibited items. tsa.gov/travel/security-screening/whatcanibring/all
• Travelers who have medical conditions or disabilities are encouraged to call the TSA Cares toll-free helpline in advance of their trip at 1.855.787.2227 to ask about helpful resources, screening policies, procedures and what to expect at the checkpoint. It is recommended to call 72 hours in advance of your trip.
• What about REAL ID? Do you need one? No – not, yet, anyway. The Department of Homeland Security has extended the enforcement deadline to May 7, 2025.

2. Parking and leaving for the airport:

• Passengers should arrive two hours prior to their scheduled departure time, keeping in mind the checkpoint does not open until 3:45 a.m. Confirm directly with your airline for possible last-minute changes or delays before leaving for the airport. Use airlines’ apps or websites for the quickest and most accurate information.
• Plan where you will park. When traveling from TUL, you can choose Garage, Economy and Valet. To learn more, go here: flytulsa.com/travel/parking/parking-options-map/
• Passengers can expedite their parking experience and earn free parking for every dollar spent by signing up for TUL Parking Perks. This parking rewards program allows for ticketless entry and exit in the parking Garage and Economy Lot, and lets customers earn points for every dollar spent to redeem free parking.
• In anticipation of airport parking options potentially reaching capacity, TUL has set up an overflow parking lot that would be utilized when Garage, Economy, and Valet parking options are full. If the overflow parking is needed, passengers would then be guided to the lot off E. Young Pl. and N 73rd Ave, where airport parking shuttles would be running to transport passengers to and from the terminal.

3. TSA Security Checkpoint reminders:

• The live TUL security wait time is posted on the airport’s home page at flytulsa.com
• When approaching the security checkpoint, passengers should have their government issued photo ID or passport available. Passengers should pay extra attention that their valid form of ID matches their name on their flight reservation exactly.
• Passengers can sign up for a CLEAR Plus membership at the airport. CLEAR Plus allows passengers to get to their gate faster by using theireyes or fingerprints to verify their identity at airport security and gives them access to the front of the security queueing lane.

4. Shopping and dining information:

• Shopping and dining information can be found here: flytulsa.com/travel/amenities/dining-shopping/

5. Airport amenities and accessibility resources:

• The airport has partnered with Discovery Lab to construct a play area for kids to enjoy post-security while waiting for their flight. The new play area is set to open on Thursday, March 14, and is located between Gate B7 and B9.
• Passengers who may need extra assistance while traveling can utilize the airport’s Hidden Disabilities Sunflower Lanyard program. If requested, the airport will provide sunflower lanyards free of charge to passengers with hidden disabilities. Wearing the sunflower lanyard is a discrete way for a person with a disability to make staff throughout the terminal aware that they may need additional time, patience or assistance navigating the air travel experience. Lanyards are available in the airport lobby in room A-211 or by sending an e-mail to taaweb@tulsaairports.com.
• TUL’s two Guest Services Areas are open to passengers, offering sensory rooms, lactation rooms, quiet rooms, family restrooms, and indoor service animal relief areas. Both Guest Services Areas are located on the lower level of Concourse A and Concourse B.
• Airport Ambassadors will be available to answer any questions or concerns that travelers may have at the airport.
• Welcome Waggin’ therapy dogs will be throughout the terminal greeting passengers.

6. Picking up or dropping off loved ones at TUL:

• When picking up or dropping off family and friends, remember that active loading and unloading is in place curbside. Drivers will not be allowed to park at the curb unless their passengers are outside with their luggage. Drivers can wait in the airport’s free cell phone lot while they wait for their party, or they can park in short-term parking on the top level of the garage if they want to greet them inside baggage claim.
• The TUL Visitor Pass program allows non-traveling individuals to secure a pass to go through security and see friends and family off on their trip, welcome their guests at the gate, and enjoy all the amenities that TUL has to offer. To register for a TUL Visitor Pass, visit flytulsa.com/tulvisitorpass.

The other day, my 10-year-old daughter, Angel, and I were at Woodland Hills Mall just killing time. We were not there to buy anything in particular, we just like going to the mall to walk around, window shop and have daddy-daughter time.

Tulsa Oilers’ impressive new WeStreet Ice Center opened Saturday, March 9. Although I missed the grand opening celebrations, they were kind enough to lead me on a tour of the facility on Monday. The WeStreet Ice Center is impressive, with so many more features than I anticipated. Learn about some of them below.

Ice Skating and Hockey

WeStreet Ice Center has two rinks. One is more for public skating, and the other for games, practices, etc. The East Rink has stadium seating for watching games and other events. Plus, the steps have frequent entrances to Puck’s restaurant, making it easy to access food as needed.

View of the East Rink

Stadium seating next to the East Rink

The West Rink, the one for public skating, is surrounded by benches and even a couple tables, so families can watch other family members skate or just take a breather. There are plenty of “walkers” for those less certain on the ice. My tour guide told me that during busy times, they plan to divide the large rink into sections for more advanced and more novice skaters. As someone who’s always been nervous on the ice – that is a huge deal for me!

As far as classes, WeStreet Ice Center offers Learn to Skate classes for both kids and adults, a freestyle program for beginner through advanced figure skaters, hockey leagues for both youth and adults, and more. Public skating is available throughout the week, typically 11:30 a.m.-1:30 p.m. on weekdays, with additional hours available on weekends and some weekday evenings. Get the details at westreeticecenter.com

Rentals

If you’re looking for a space to host your child’s birthday party – or your own party, a corporate meeting, you name it – WeStreet Ice Center has several options. They have one large party room – that can be divided into two smaller (but still spacious) rooms.

And, something I wasn’t expecting, they also have two game rooms available for rent! These are smaller rooms, but I can imagine kids really enjoying having a party here! There’s a large screen taking up the entirety of one wall, where you can play sports games. All the balls, hockey sticks, etc. are provided. I got to practice hitting a puck at the screen in a game that involved trying to score against a goalie. I didn’t succeed, I’m not sure the goalie even realized I was there. But it was fun. For people who enjoy conducting meetings on a golf course, there’s also a golf game where you can choose your course location – we tried the beach – and play right there in the room. Which would be a nice option in the event of inclement weather!

Learn more about their birthday party packages at westreeticecenter.com/birthday-parties. My tour guide did say they’re reworking some of their party packages. But generally, they come with two-hours of skating time, plus an hour of party space. And you can work with them to provide food as well.

Dining

Speaking of food, WeStreet Ice Center has a couple options! As soon as you walk in, you’ll see their downstairs concession area. Here, you can buy fountain drinks, hot dogs, pretzels, nachos, a bagel, chips and other snack-y items.

Upstairs, you’ll find Puck’s Sports Bar & Grill by Yuengling. This is a huge space, complete with a lounge area so you can watch a game on TV, bar area and plenty of table seating. They’re still updating their website with menu details, etc., but you can learn more about Puck’s at westreeticecenter.com/dining

Lounge area at Puck’s

Arcade

Something else exciting up on the second floor is the arcade! Kids will love this. The area is designed so that parents can sit on the balcony overlooking the rink, so they can watch games while their kids play as needed. I especially liked the air hockey tables with a nice, clear view of the rink below.

Sledge’s Den Pro Shop

For all your hockey and skating needs, or to show your support as a Tulsa Oilers fan, stop by Sledge’s Den. Here, you can purchase skates, hockey gear, Tulsa Oilers apparel and souvenirs, etc. Plus, they also offer maintenance and replacement parts.

Mother’s Room

One final thing I want to mention is that there is a nice Mother’s Room for nursing moms. It has a changing table, chair, sink and mirror. This is located up on the second floor near the West Rink.

Well, that is not even everything to be found at WeStreet Ice Center, if you can believe it! The Tulsa Oilers offices are also there, but I didn’t tour that section. It is a huge facility and a wonderful asset to Tulsa! The building is located on the south side of Promenade. There are two entrances – one on the west, and one on the south. The main entrance is on the south side.

Learn more at westreeticecenter.com

Jacelyne Jackson founded Serenity Center for the Arts out of a desire to give back to her community “the beautiful gift that God so richly blessed [her] with.” When she was a child, her mother couldn’t afford dance classes. However, wanting her daughter to train in dance, her mother bartered with a studio owner to clean the studio in exchange for lessons. “That was rare for a little black girl,” says Jackson.

Having trained in classical ballet, jazz, tap, Irish step dancing and hip-hop, Jackson eventually got her degree in dance and has toured with celebrities such as Shakira, the Ying Yang Twins, 2Chains and many more. A year ago, she and her husband, Josh, relocated to Tulsa with their three daughters. Josh is a self-taught, trailblazing artist who goes by the name “Jay Picazzo.” They merged their two passions – art and dance – to create Serenity Center for the Arts, now open at 81st and Harvard.

We asked Jackson more about the classes and camps offered at Serenity Center for the Arts.

1. What dance classes do you offer? Which classes stand out as ones that maybe people can’t find elsewhere?

We offer Ballet, Jazz, Hip-Hop, Afrobeat and West African dance. As we grow, we will incorporate more genres into our schedule.

The classes that stand out the most are our West African and Afrobeats classes. There is no other studio in Tulsa that teaches those styles.

2. Tell us about your art classes! What do you offer for kids and teens?

We provide a creative space for kids/teens to freely express themselves by way of acrylic paint. Our art classes are lead by Joshua Jackson.

We provide art classes for kids and adults. Our classes are as follows:

Picazzo Kids Program: Ages 6-12
Every Saturday from 12-1 p.m. (Must enroll to participate in this program via our website: serenityartsctr.com)

Picazzo Teens Program: Ages 13+
Every Saturday from 1:30-3 p.m. (Must enroll to participate in this program via our website: serenityartsctr.com)

“Paint & Vibe”: Adult Paint Classes
Our adult classes are every 1^st and 3^rd Saturday from 7-9 p.m. Tickets are always available via Eventbrite. This is a great date night event or a girls night out! Fellas are welcome to join in and enjoy the ambiance and the atmosphere set as we paint and vibe to good music.

3. What makes your classes unique?

All of our classes are unique because of our teaching style. We take the traditional dance styles and add a little funky edge to it! You just have to experience a class to fully understand what that means.

4. What ages do you serve?

We currently serve ages 3 and up for all dance classes. All art classes begin at age 6.

5. What are you offering over Spring Break?

Our Spring Break Camp is approaching, March 18-22 During that week, all students enrolled will engage in different genres of dance, arts and crafts, musical theatre, Tik-Tok dance party, movies, games and FUN! The entire week is only $75 per student.

6. Tell us about your summer camps.

Our summer camp is an 8-week program that runs from June 10 through August 2. We are currently accepting registrations on our website (serenityartsctr.com) for ages 6 to 17 years of age.

Camp hours are from 8 a.m. to 3 p.m. with an aftercare option available until 6 p.m. for working parents (additional fees will apply for the aftercare).

Our Spring Break Camp is a snippet of what to expect during Summer Camp! Students will study different genres of dance, prepare choreography, learn about staging, art classes, musical theatre, educational development (preparing students for the next grade level), and FUN, FUN, FUN!!!

The cost for Summer Camp is $150 per week (registration fee is $50). Lunch is NOT included.

7. What about birthday parties/studio rental?

Serenity Center For The Arts offers studio rentals for dance classes, rehearsals of any kind, private meetings, and a content creation office for just $50 an hour.

Birthday parties are currently offered at a flat rate of $400 for 5 hours, which includes set-up and clean-up time. The cleaning fee is $75 and is not included in the flat rate.

8. How much do classes typically cost?

If students enroll in our school, we charge a registration fee of $100, which includes their required uniform.  One class per week equals up to $75 per month. Class prices increase based on the number of classes the student enrolls in.

We also offer drop-in classes for kids and adults. Our drop-in rate is $20 per class. Adults also have the option of purchasing a class card that is good for 30 days from the time of purchase.

We offer two class card options:

• The 4-class card for $75 (Save $5)
• The 8-class card for. $150 (Save $10)

Art Program Enrollment:

Registration fee is $100 (students receive a free SCTA art bag)
Ages 6-12 is a monthly flat rate of $100
Ages 13+ is a monthly flat rate of $140

9. Do you offer free trial classes, so kids can try out a class before committing? If so, how does that work?

We offer the first dance class FREE for all new students. Parents can contact us at 918.280.9779 to set up their free trial class. Parents get to choose one genre for their child to engage in.

There are no free art classes offered at this time.

Contact Information

Serenity Center for the Arts is located at 8207 S. Harvard Ave., Tulsa. Follow them on Instagram, @serenityartscenter; Facebook, Serenity Center for the Arts; and TikTok, @serenityartscenter. Visit their website at serenityartsctr.com

If you’ve been to Tulsa Zoo over the past couple of years, you’ve probably noticed construction on the new Elephant Preserve Barn. It’s pretty hard to miss! This week, I was so excited to get to tour the new 36,650 square-foot barn. It’s truly impressive, with every detail thoroughly thought through. Plus, the viewing areas are a lot nicer, so it’s a win-win for both the elephant herd and Zoo visitors! Below, I’ll share some photos and go over different aspects of the barn.

Staff Area

The first area we toured was the staff area. Here, you’ll find a large, walk-in refrigerator, food prep area, storage, meeting room and more. There’s a medical facility as well as a place for overnight stays in case a staff member ever needs to be on-hand for a medical issue – or something exciting like an imminent birth!

Food prep area

Meeting area. It’s set up to have video calls with other zoos, etc.

The meeting room has large windows overlooking the main part of the barn

The overnight stay area, a work in progress. Note the elephant shower curtain!

The Elephant Area

I’m going to start by showing a map of the elephant barn. Apologies for the glare!

As you can see, there are two larger, sandy areas and then a series of smaller stalls. At least two of the stalls are set up to be water areas. They can fill up with some water, so the elephants can enjoy some spa-like enrichment. The tour guides mentioned that the elephants can even play with bubbles there. Tulsa Zoo’s three elephants are considered geriatric elephants, as they’re all over 50. So having these spa areas will be very nice for them!

One of the water stalls, note the large drain in the middle.

There is also space for baby elephant training! The babies will be able to go through a smaller chute, leading to an area next to the larger stalls. This way, the mother can still keep an eye on her baby while it is in training with Zoo staff. It’s just fun to think about the future for the Tulsa Zoo’s elephant herd, now that they will have a lot more space and updated facilities.

Elephant calf training area

The large, sandy areas inside the barn will have enrichment. As the elephant keeper explained, they will be building more small hills in the sand. These hills are helpful to the geriatric elephants, as they can lean against them, and it’s easier to get back up again.

The metal part sticking off that pole can hold a brush that the elephants will enjoy

The observation deck looks over the larger of the two sandy areas. Visitors will love this! There is no glass between the observation area and the elephant area, so you’ll have an unobstructed view.

View from the indoor observation deck. You can see the many doors that lead outdoors to the main yard.

Outdoor Yard and Viewing Area

Outside, the elephants will have a nice pond, enrichment and treat opportunities, plenty of mud and a view of the giraffes! The giraffe herd came over while we were outside in the yard. I asked if the elephants and giraffes would really even notice each other, and the zookeeper said they would definitely be curious about each other.

They haven’t filled the pond up completely. This is the natural pond, and they’ll add water.

View of the visitor viewing area from the elephant yard

View of the elephant yard from the visitor viewing area

There is educational signage throughout the visitor area

What’s Next?

The Tulsa Zoo Elephant Preserve Barn is not open to the public yet. The elephants are currently getting used to the chute that they will need to travel to get from their current area to the new barn. You can see it in the picture below.

So there’s not a specific opening date yet. I asked how the elephants were acclimating to the chute, and was told that you can really see the different personalities come through. Two elephants seem pretty confident about the move, while one is more cautious.

As far as the current elephant facility, it will receive “extensive renovations.” These include restrooms, which will be very nice for visitors. But the elephants will be able to utilize both their current space and the new barn/yards. You can learn more about the project at buildingbeyond.org/projects/lost-kingdom-elephants/

The Zoo train will run right next to the new barn

Primrose School of Midtown Tulsa will open its doors to children on Monday, March 25, 2024!  We are inviting the entire community to come tour our new facility during our OPEN HOUSE March 18 from 4:30 – 6:00 p.m., or March 19 from 4:30 – 6:00 p.m. If those times don’t work for your family, give us a call and we can arrange a tour!

Primrose Schools® is a national system of accredited private preschools that provides a premier early education and childcare experience for children and families. We serve children aged 6 weeks through 10 years old. Our Franchise Owners, Leadership Teams and School Staff partner with parents to help children develop the right foundation for continual learning in life.

At Primrose, we believe who children become is as important as what they know. For almost 40 years, our approach to teaching and learning has remained true to the Primrose core belief of nurturing balance among mind body and heart. With our Balanced Learning approach, we nurture curiosity, confidence, creativity and compassion. At Primrose, we are devoted to creating an environment where every family, child and staff team member feels a sense of belonging. Our schools have an on-site chef who provides a variety of nutritious food for children daily.

Kelli Miller, local owner, has operated Primrose School of South Tulsa since 2017. Her second location, Primrose School of Midtown Tulsa, will be opening its doors to children on March 25, 2024. Primrose School of South Tulsa is Cognia® accredited and rated a 5-star facility by the state of Oklahoma. Primrose School of Midtown Tulsa will achieve similar accomplishments during its first year of operation. Our building includes an F5-rated tornado safe room, carefully designed classrooms and large, age-appropriate turfed playgrounds.

Primrose School of Midtown Tulsa is currently enrolling for all children between the ages of 6 weeks and 4 years of age. We will also be offering SUMMER CAMP opportunities for children currently enrolled in pre-K through 3^rd grade.

To learn more, plan to attend one of our OPEN HOUSES tonight and tomorrow or contact us at Primrose@PrimroseMidtownTulsa.com or 918-900-9660.  Learn more by visiting primrosemidtowntulsa.com.

Tucked away in a box, I still have McDonald’s toys from when I was a kid. I looked at some of them recently and showed them to Isabelle and Kieren. I realized how they represent not only certain shows and movies I enjoyed at the time, but were also a reflection of larger pop culture trends. I’ve seen McDonald’s restaurants and their brand evolve with the times, and it’s been interesting to watch. When we received an exciting mystery box reflecting a new McDonald’s initiative that would interest both my elementary schooler and high schooler, I was intrigued. 

McDonald’s has now tapped into the anime world with something fans will love! Kieren added anime to his mix of genres back in elementary school. Meanwhile, Isabelle and I are admirers of the anime’s artistic style. McDonald’s is harnessing the cross-generational appeal of anime through their “WcDonald’s” campaign. The name WcDonald’s has been used for years by anime fans in movies and shows to represent McDonald’s in the world of anime.

Kieren models anime-inspired WcDonald’s shirt

I created a reel of our WcDonald’s mystery box unboxing. The artwork is fantastic! Acky Bright, a Japanese manga artist, is behind the packaging concept and all that makes the concept truly unique. McDonald’s also partnered with legendary animation house studio pierrot to create WcDonald’s anime episodic shorts. Every detail of the WcDonald’s concept has everyone in this house talking! 

Further immersion into the world of WcDonald’s includes a Savory Chili WcDonald’s Sauce that is a ginger, garlic, and soy combination with very slight heat from chili flakes intended to pair perfectly with “WcNuggets.” If you scan the code on the unique manga-inspired packaging, you can access weekly digital manga drops. They are focusing on a different theme each week to keep it entertaining.

It is amazing to see how McDonald’s, which will be 70 years old next year, continues to stay relevant and fun. I learned that members of their team spent time in Japan to research this project in-depth and make sure it was executed just right. With spring break right around the corner, this seems the perfect time for a memorable WcDonald’s experience. Get it on the action through March 25.

Editor’s note: This blog post is sponsored by McDonald’s

Like many parents of Gen Zers and Alphas, I have been pretty permissive about letting my kids get involved in online engagement. Coming from a highly restrictive upbringing with a high-control religious background, I have always felt that prohibition only leads to problems. Many of the most troubled kids I knew growing up came from homes where there were a lot of rules to sneak around or break. 

As a parent, I’ve always felt that one of the most frightening thoughts is the idea that my kids would feel they needed to sneak around or keep secrets from me. If something goes wrong with my kid — particularly something of the unthinkable “Dateline” variety —  I want to know who they’re hanging out with and what they’re doing so I can help keep them safe, not the sanitized parent-friendly lie version they feel they have to tell me to keep things copacetic. When I worked in a middle school and high school, I constantly overheard kids talking about how to use a VPN, which if you don’t know allows users to bypass parental and school controls. 

I also am very aware that the internet is a dangerous place for kids and teens, and I understood that allowing my kids to have online access meant potentially giving all sorts of bad actors access to my children. This is a fact of life in the internet age, and it’s one parents have to be realistic about if their kids are anywhere near any type of connected device at any point in their day. 

I’m sure this will be controversial, but my approach was to teach my kids all about the dangers of online interactions from an early age. I talked to them directly about how they can never truly know if who they are talking to online is who they think it is unless they know them personally in real life and are currently speaking via video. I educated them, in age-appropriate terms that became more granular as they got older, about things like predators, catfishing, and online bullying. We have also loosely monitored our kids’ online interactions by letting them know we’d pop in from time to time with the overall goal of letting them prove they could be trusted. 

And while they have demonstrated good judgment so far, I am becoming increasingly concerned that Discord needs to be actively working to address specific dangers to minors on their site. In the meantime, if your kids are on Discord, there are some very real threats to their safety that you need to know about and watch out for. 

Many Discord users are minors

I’ve noticed that when my kids meet new kids, one of the first things that comes up is a request to exchange Discord profiles. I don’t know if Discord use is common among all social networks, but I do know that among the artsy, cosplaying, geeky, and gaming types, it seems to be pretty huge. What concerns me the most about this is that I know many of the kids in these communities are neurodivergent, LGBTQ, or kids that generally struggle to connect with other kids in school or feel in some way that they’re outsiders. These types of kids are especially vulnerable to some of the very specific dangers lurking on Discord. 

The average age of Discord users is getting younger each year. While it used to be 20 years old, the average Discord user today is 16. And while their terms of service allow kids as young as 13 to sign up, it’s common for kids even younger to sneak their way onto the platform. 

A direct link to your kids

The way Discord works, for those who aren’t in the know, is it allows groups and individual users to create private servers or chatrooms…basically, they’re hangout rooms. In these rooms, users can engage in text-based conversations, share content, or join group or individual voice chats. Just like back in the day my friends and I used to spend hours on the landline talking, these kids will sometimes spend hours hanging out with their friends talking while they game or draw or watch TV. 

My kids are pretty open about what they do in their hangout rooms, and I’ve walked in on everything from the kids teaching each other to cook basic food to the group sharing music and art. 

But it’s not uncommon for young adults and teens to end up in the same group, and this is where you really need to be on your game because everything can seem safe to a teen or tween who is naive and vulnerable. 

Not only does this mean that some very skeezy and even downright horrible people could potentially end up connected to your youth, but it also means that they’re getting direct interaction with your kiddo, often for hours at a time, in which they are free to manipulate or groom them. And there is no age at which your kid isn’t vulnerable to this, which is why it is essential to either keep them off electronic devices altogether or educate them on the very specific dangers that are out there in, again, granular terms. 

The self-radicalization rabbit hole

This hit home for me a few years ago when someone in my extended family began to visibly self-radicalize. Their content on Facebook had gradually become more hateful and conspiracy-theorist, and it was increasingly concerning. Various family members tried to intervene, but there seemed to be no getting through. And then one day, we all got a message from this person apologizing for their behavior and explaining that they had been involved in some online communities that had impacted their thinking but were now coming out of that programming. 

I don’t know what social media apps they were involved with, but I do know that stories of self-radicalized teens getting caught up with hate groups, conspiracy theories, and cultist communities are becoming more common these days, with some of them leading to violence. The problem with Discord is that it’s easy to get connected with insular groups that create and feed into a toxic culture, often surrounding mini cults of personality connected to their leaders. You can also imagine how this can be attractive for some very toxic and unhealthy individuals.

Malware and phishing scams

This is one my kids have encountered a few times, and thankfully told me about. It’s not uncommon for gamers to gift each other content, often sharing codes via Discord — I’ve done it in my own Star Trek Fleet Command group. But you can see how this could lead to problems when naive users share their private information in order to gain access to “free content.”

Explicit content and lover schemes

This is a huge area of concern. I don’t know many adults who haven’t received unwanted advances or explicit content on social media, and you can bet your kids are getting exposed to the same types of harassment you are — if not worse.

While it’s easy to teach kids to look for “stereotypical” abusers, the ones you really have to worry about are the ones who lie about their age, flatter your kids, love-bomb them, and convince them they’re in an online relationship. The world of true crime is increasingly riddled with tales of “boyfriend” or “girlfriend” characters who convince lonely young people to send them explicit content, and then use it to manipulate them. 

And if you think, “Okay, I’ll just prevent them from computers, phones, and social media until they’re grown,” here’s yet another warning. 

I know someone whose technically grown teen daughter was lured away from her home and is living under the cultish control of a man who drags her from state to state, homeless shelter to homeless shelter. We’ll call her Gemma. At 19, almost 20, Gemma was a young adult but still very naive and unworldly when she met an older gentleman whom she began engaging with online. He groomed her through online interactions and texting, preying on her insecurities and causing tension between Gemma and her family. One day, she left without saying a word, leaving only a video on a Ring camera. After more than a year of believing she was dead, her mom caught up with her only to find Gemma still under this man’s complete control. 

And these are just a few of the dangers our kids face when they’re on Discord — not to mention the dangers that they’ll be bullied or abused. 

That’s not to say Discord is without its merits. For my kids, their Discord communities provided a friend network during the darkest days of the pandemic and have given them a way to connect with their besties even when they can’t get together in person. It’s helped them to feel connected in general while giving them a safe space to be wacky teens and share their crazy creative ideas and just generally have fun.

I don’t know the answer, although I do believe Discord should be taking active steps to protect its underage users if it plans to allow them, and I increasingly favor legal accountability even if I’m not sure what that looks like. But putting that aside, if your kids are online in any capacity — at school or otherwise — assume you need to be having highly specific conversations about safe and unsafe online interactions. 

Thanks for reading, and have a lovely week in your little nebula!

My kids never did well in elementary school science fairs. They were straight-A students, both going on to earn two college degrees (one in molecular biology and biochemistry!), so the blame seems to fall solidly on my shoulders. My excuse is that I was a single, working mom with little time, energy, or skills to invest in these projects. The projects that won the science fair always seemed to have a great deal of parental involvement, a little too slick to believe they were the work of a ten-year-old.

My kids were eleven and twelve when Steve and I got married, so he missed out on all those fun (?) elementary school projects. Now that he’s a grandparent, he gets a redo on everything he missed. When our grandson’s troop announced that it was time for the Pinewood Derby, all eyes went to my husband, who is well-known in the family for his perfectionism. He was all in!

This is our six-year-old grandson’s first year in Boy Scouts. He’s not typically the kind of kid who joins groups, but his best friend wanted to join, so Callister agreed to also. Whatever Callister lacks in enthusiasm, his best friend more than makes up for it, and his level of optimism and enthusiasm is contagious. Their primary motivation for joining Boy Scouts was the promise of campouts, and those campouts have not disappointed the boys. The Pinewood Derby was not high on Callister’s list of priorities. To say he was a reluctant participant would be like saying the Pope is Catholic – an understatement.

Creating the Car

Meanwhile, my perfectionist husband watched YouTube videos, devised a plan, talked to the other dads, and bought scales, drill bits, sandpaper, and glue. If you google Pinewood Derby, you’ll get over four million hits. If you go to Amazon, you’ll find page after page of related products for sale. Knowing we weren’t the only family that struggled with this project was somehow comforting. My husband made somewhere between two and twenty trips to Lowe’s for various supplies.

Callister remained totally disinterested. My husband encouraged and cajoled Callister every step of the way. He was able to convince Callister to do some tasks such as sanding, helping drill, and choosing a design. He chose the minimalist version (let’s be honest, he chose what took the least amount of work) of painting a yellow C on top of the car. Involving a reluctant six-year-old meant the car project took about ten times longer than it should have, but by race day they had a car.

Working together – a major accomplishment!

Pinewood Derby Race Day

The day of the event was exciting. Each car got to run in four heats, in a different lane each time. There was a finish line with a computerized timing device. Callister was excited to win one heat. He didn’t place overall, but it didn’t seem to matter one bit to him. He got a participation ribbon, played with his friends, his family was there to cheer him on, and he got to buy snacks from the concession stand. From a first-grader’s perspective, it was a good day.

Impressive track!

My husband, who deserves a trophy for patience, is already planning and scheming for next year’s Pinewood Derby. Callister is happy with his participation ribbon. He’s even happier to go back to doing what he loves, running around and playing with his friends. That’s the job of a six-year-old boy. Will he feel differently about the Pinewood Derby when he’s seven or eight? Maybe, but we’re not counting on it.

Even after a stressful few weeks working on the car, they still enjoy each other’s company, so that’s a win!

I recently brought Isabelle to a birthday party that involved reindeer. That’s right – reindeer! Through that, I was introduced to Reindeer Club of Oklahoma. Did you think reindeer spent the rest of the year relaxing in the North Pole? Not all of them. Some happy reindeer, who happen to be relatives of Santa’s fantastic sleigh companions, live right here in our great state!

I asked Nick Ledbetter, owner of Reindeer Club of Oklahoma, some questions about his organization, which takes care of Santa’s helpers. 

1. How long has the Reindeer Club of Oklahoma been around and what do you all do?

The idea of Reindeer Club started in 2014 with a trip on the Polar Express train ride when my oldest son Parker asked, “How come we always met Santa Claus, Mrs. Claus, and elves, but we never get to meet a real reindeer?”  After about a year and a half of planning, preparation and education, Santa Claus sent us two reindeer (Hiser and Rudy) to live at the Reindeer Club in Bristow, Oklahoma.

2. How many reindeer do you have?

Currently, Reindeer Club has three reindeer on the farm, Rose the Reindeer, Grace, and Yukon. We’ve had as many as eight on the farm at any one time.

3. What types of reindeer do you all have?

Rose the Reindeer and Yukon are Woodland reindeer and tend to be darker in color to help blend in with their surroundings, while Grace, our Tundra reindeer, is a much whiter color, which helps her blend in with an environment that consists mostly of snow.

Grace, a baby reindeer, is ready for her closeup

4. Why reindeer? What is so special about them?

Our family has always been obsessed with Christmas and the holiday season. When Santa asks if you can help raise some of his reindeer, how can you say no?

5. What types of events do you all do throughout the year? What does the club do/offer outside of the holiday season?

Reindeer Club mainly offers displays October through December during the holiday season. We do a limited number of events during the spring and summer such as educational displays at schools and for some nonprofits.  New for the 2024 season, Reindeer Club is going to offer a limited number of velvet tours at the farm, where guests will be able to see the reindeer antlers growing and covered in the dark velvet that helps them grow. We are always asked about the velvet on the antlers during the holiday season, but by that time they have shed the velvet and are hard antlered.

6. What are some of the coolest facts about reindeer? For example, I just learned from you all that they do not have front teeth!

Here are three other fun facts about reindeer:

• Reindeer are the only member of the deer species that both the male and females always grow antlers. 
• Reindeer have roughly 9,000 hairs per square inch on their body that not only help them stay warm at the North Pole, but prevent them from sinking when they cross a river or lake while swimming. If they get tired, they can simply stop and rest and will continue to float due to air trapped in their hollow hairs.
• The most interesting fact, which most of us already know, is that reindeer are also the only member of the deer species that can fly.

Visit their website or follow them on Facebook.For questions about all things reindeer, reach out to Nick at reindeerclub@yahoo.com. 

The vigils here and across the nation for 16-year-old Nex Benedict, a nonbinary student at Owasso High School who died last week, helped me see that there are many kind and caring people who envision a state and a country where everyone is safe and protected. I hope that an investigation into Nex’s death will eventually reveal what happened to them. In the meantime, speculation will fly and social media will burn hot until this dies down and the next nonbinary or LGBTQ person is attacked. We can’t fix what happened to Nex, but we can ask ourselves what we can do now. I know. It feels overwhelming. We don’t yet know exactly what happened to Nex, but we do know that they said they were bullied at school. So, if you were one of those people holding a candle at a vigil, here are some ways to take action.

Research anti-bullying policies

What is the state’s policy on bullying? What is your child’s school policy on bullying? If your child is being bullied, would you know?

According to the Pew Research Center, over half of teens say online harassment and online bullying is a problem. Two out of 10 middle and high school students said they were bullied at school and that the classroom was the most common location of bullying. Gay, lesbian or bisexual high schoolers were twice as likely as heterosexual kids to be bullied, both at school and online. The research did not include nonbinary or trans students.

Fewer than half of middle school and high school students notified an adult about the bullying.

Many times, children and young people don’t tell adults they are being bullied because they fear the bullying will become worse. Or they may want to protect their parents. Too often, adults may fail them or not take them seriously. Sometimes the adults are the bullies. Sometimes our own leaders and policymakers are the bullies.

The Oklahoma State Department of Education has a bullying prevention policy. You can find out more about that and how to report bullying here: sde.ok.gov/bullying-prevention

Schools are required to have an anti-bullying policy. Find out what it is. Work to make sure that it is implemented and that all the teachers and staff are trained. Each public school site should have a Safe School Committee. The committee should have seven members who are then asked to make recommendations to the site administrator on “unsafe conditions, student bullying (including policy), professional development needs…methods of encouraging involvement of the community students.” Ask about this Safe School Committee and the policies at your child’s school. Can you be a member?

You can find the bullying prevention policies here: stopbullying.gov/resources/laws/oklahoma.  I can’t help but wonder if these policies were followed regarding Nex.

Make sure parents are informed

Once you find out what your child’s school is doing to create a safe, anti-bullying environment for all students, find out if parents have been informed of these policies. Oklahoma’s anti-bullying laws require districts to provide educational programming for parents in preventing, identifying, responding to, and reporting incidents of bullying. Schools and parents can use Nex’s death as a teachable moment. They can reiterate anti-bullying policies. Hold assemblies where all students and parents know those policies and what to do if they encounter bullying.

A hostile environment for LGBTQ students creates a hostile environment for all students. Unfortunately, our state leaders are not good examples of creating a safe environment for all students. Gov. Stitt has signed laws that make it less safe for LGBTQ students. And State Superintendent Ryan Walters has a long record of anti-LGBTQ actions and rhetoric.

Safe, inclusive environments can be created at every school. Parents can take the lead on this. We can do something. Don’t stop with going to a vigil for a life cut short. Make Nex’s life mean something by taking meaningful action against hate.

Did your child’s school administration make you aware of safe school policies? Has your child been bullied at school? How was it handled? What recommendations do you have?

A couple weekends ago – before our household all came down with COVID – I got to go to Oklahoma City for a quick overnight. Despite an iffy forecast – it ended up snowing one evening but was clear the next day – it was a lovely, if brief, time! Since the trip was only about 24 hours, there wasn’t time to do ALL the things I’d found to do whilst trip-planning. But I wanted to save some here in case that helps anyone else planning an OKC getaway.

Where to Stay

Of course, this depends on what you’re looking for. There are some very fancy hotels in OKC, which did not fit the budget. However, the Sheraton in downtown OKC proved to be a good choice. It is located practically across the street from the Thunder stadium and Myriad Botanical Gardens, and within walking distance of many shops and restaurants. The restaurant food was good, too. So definitely a place to consider, and I’d be happy to stay there again.

Bookstores

For a quick trip, bookstores ended up being a priority. A friend owns Literati Press in the Paseo District, so we met them there first thing. Literati had changed locations since I’d been there last, and their new space has wonderful storefront windows! Plus, it’s a great selection, and I found many books I’d love to buy or gift.

We also walked past The Floating Bookshop on the way back to the hotel after getting coffee. This bookstore is located inside Sailor and The Dock, “a local market, bar, arts and events venue in an eco-conscious conversion of a 1920s urban warehouse.” Sadly, most of the other businesses housed within Sailor and the Dock were closed (so many stores closed on Mondays!). But it looked like a fun place to go back to. Again, a great selection of books for a not-very-large space.

Finally, after two recommendations, we went to Second Story Books & Cafe, which is located closer to the Capitol building, if you’re familiar with the area. This was the largest of the three we went to, and was absolutely charming! They had a great kid’s section – all the covers were appealing, IMO, and I wanted to buy all of them! They also have a full coffee and tea menu, although we didn’t get to try it at the time.

Other OKC bookstores include Full Circle – the largest independent bookstore in OK. As well as Commonplace Books (which we almost went to, but they closed early due to the weather); and Pear Street Books & Plants. If you know of others to recommend, please give them a shout-out in the comments!

Escape Rooms

We didn’t do any escape rooms, but I was thinking about it. So here are my Google research results:

• Breakout Games: Over 4,000 Google reviews, with a 4.9 star rating. Rooms (as of Feb. 2024) include Runaway Train; Island Escape; and Museum Heist
• Red Door Escape Rooms: Has two locations in the OKC area. I like that their different rooms are graded based on “Challenge level,” which is easy to see on their website. So, as someone who’s never done an escape room before, starting off with an easier option might be nice.
• Baker Street Escapes: I like the idea of Sherlock Holmes/literature-inspired escape rooms. Available escape options include “The Hound Adventure,” “Return to Sleepy Hollow” and more.
• The Escape OKC: The Escape OKC’s website does a nice job of outlining each room option. It tells you if they’re good options for beginners, families, etc.

Coffee and Dessert

I was very excited to try Don’t Stress Meowt – Cat Cafe (which is supposed to open a Tulsa location soon-ish!). However, again – because it was Monday – it was closed. So this remains on the list for next time.

We did end up getting coffee and a pastry at Clarity Coffee, which was conveniently located to the hotel and also came highly recommended by a friend. I tried the blood orange latte, and it was incredible! Literati bookstore is located a few doors down from Holey Rollers, a delicious donut shop – and now I can recommend personally their chai donut as well. A great option for breakfast or a snack.

And I was especially excited to try Boomtown Creamery because I like ice cream and their flavors sounded incredible. It did not disappoint, at all! The 6-scoop flight is definitely the way to go if you’re having trouble making a decision – and have someone to share it with. They are always coming up with new flavors, but one I tried was the Cherry Goat – which had goat cheese, salted fudge and delicious roasted cherries. Sooo good.

Some OKC local also highly recommended Perets, a coffee/dessert place that is only open from 3-11 p.m. Tuesday-Sunday. So we didn’t have time for a visit, sadly. Check out their menu because it’s making me want to go back and try it ASAP. Especially their special affogatos.

Other places I’d found or had recommended to me during my trip brainstorming include:

• Babble Coffee & Boba Tea Bar
• Stitch Cafe
• Harvey Bakery 
• Cake It By DaDa
• Pie Junkie (have been here before, so didn’t make it this time, but very good pie!)
• Roxy’s Ice Cream Social

Dining

Boomtown Creamery was across the street from Thai House Restaurant, which sounded like a good choice, so we ended up just eating there! The food was very good, and the atmosphere casual yet nice.

For breakfast/lunch the next day, I wasn’t feeling super hungry. But after buying a book at Second Story and looking for healthy options in the area, we realized that the Capitol building housed a cafe and smoothie restaurant. So we went on a little adventure to the capitol, which I’d never been to! The smoothie was just okay – and it was kind of hard to figure out where to park (Google Maps was being confusing). But it was still fun to say we went.

Other places on my radar for future trips:

• Formosa Street Food & Bar
• Big Biang Theory
• Naija Wife Kitchen – Nigerian restaurant
• Queen of Sheeba Restaurant – Ethiopian
• The Hall’s Pizza Kitchen
• Kao Mun Gai + Bubble Tea
• Eastside Pizza House (recommended by our OKC friends – they have a black charcoal crust, what?!)
• Kitchen No. 234 – looks like they offer breakfast all day, which is always nice!

Museums and Attractions

The last time I went to OKC, we hit up several of the larger attractions, including the National Cowboy Museum, Science Museum Oklahoma, Myriad Botanical Gardens and Oklahoma City Museum of Art. Both times, the glass conservatory at Myriad was closed, sadly, so I’ve yet to see that, sadly!

This time, people recommended Oklahoma Contemporary – which is free, so we opted for that. Their main exhibit floor was closed due to installing their next exhibit, so there were only two smaller exhibitions open. But it was still a very nice space. I believe they have a lot of programming for all ages, so check out their website before you go to see if anything special is coming up.

People also have recommended Factory Obscura, an immersive art experience similar to Meow Wolf or the one that used to be at ahha.

And of course, First Americans Museum is on our list for future visits.

What are your favorite places to go and things to do in Oklahoma City? Let me know in the comments!

Pediatric neurosurgeon Dr. Naina Gross, with The Children’s Hospital at Saint Francis, answers questions about plagiocephaly – more commonly known as flat head syndrome. Watch the video below to listen to the interview, or read the transcript.

TK: What is plagiocephaly, or flat head syndrome, and how common is it?

Dr. Gross: Flat head syndrome, or plagiocephaly, is molding of the skull due to pressure. It has been more commonly seen as infants are encouraged to sleep on their backs to prevent SIDS. When infants lie on the back of their head to sleep, they may get molding of the skull from the external force of the bed.

TK: When do parents or the child’s pediatrician start noticing the syndrome, and is it dangerous?

Dr. Gross: As early as 2 months of age. Occasionally we will have a child that is born with congenital plagiocephaly, which is molding that occurred in utero from being up against a rib or a pelvic bone. Generally, we give it a few weeks to see if the birth molding will change.

Positional molding takes a couple months. We generally will get referrals anywhere from 2 months to 10 months of age, depending on the doctor’s level of comfort or concern with the situation, or sometimes the family’s level of concern. 

TK: Is it dangerous?

Dr. Gross: Plagiocephaly is not dangerous. It is not going to cause any detriment to the child’s brain growth and development. It doesn’t put undue pressure on the brain. It’s cosmetic. 

TK: Going back to the Back to Sleep, putting infants on their backs, that is recommended for safe sleep. Is there a way to alleviate that problem? Are there things that parents can do because we do want to have safe sleep, but are there things parents can do to keep their child’s head from flattening?

Dr. Gross: During awake times, position infants so they’re not on the back of their head — what we call “tummy time.” Every newborn or infant hates tummy time initially, but they generally will get used to it, especially when they can start holding their head up and pushing themselves up. But any time off the back of the head while the child is awake will alleviate that pressure time the skull is feeling.

We often see, too, plagiocephaly on one side. If just the right side is flattening and the left side isn’t, then we recommend repositioning techniques to reduce pressure on that side of the head. For example, putting a toy on the other side when the baby is in a car seat –anything the parents can do to reposition that area of the head when the child is awake.

TK: When you see the child, are there different levels of severity of the syndrome?

Dr. Gross: Yes. There’s anywhere from just barely flat to significant flattening.  

TK: Is helmet therapy used for flat head syndrome?

Dr. Gross: Yes and no. It depends on the helmet and the circumstance. For example, there are cases of abnormal skull fusions that, after we do a surgery to release the fused skull, we put them in a helmet. It’s kind of like doing Invisalign for your teeth. We must get those bones to move, and so we will put them in a helmet after those surgeries.

Then there are plagiocephaly helmets, which are molding helmets to help reshape the skull.

It works. But, as I said, plagiocephaly isn’t dangerous to the brain or to the child’s development. It’s cosmetic. So, helmet therapy is an option. Long-term studies show no statistical difference in reshaping at age 4 between children who used helmets and those who did not. Most children’s heads will reshape with repositioning techniques. Eventually, kids stop lying on the back of their heads through natural sleep movement, so the brain pushes the skull back out into a “normal” shape. Helmets are not always a must.

With natural sleep movement, kids eventually stop lying on the back of their heads. They start flipping over in their sleep, and they start sitting up, so they’re not lying on the back of their head anymore. Then the brain takes over and pushes the skull back out into a “normal” shape.

So, helmets work. They’re not required.

TK: So, you’re saying that it’s usually self-correcting?

Dr. Gross: Yes. Usually, it’s eventually self-correcting. Maybe not 100 percent, but helmets don’t correct 100% either. Some patients still have some flatness to their head after treatment. I often tell families, “Nobody’s skull is perfect, and that’s why we have hair.”

In a surprising move, House Bill 3084 has been proposed in the 2024 Oklahoma regular legislative session. The bill, sponsored by Rep. Justin Humphrey, aims to ban furries in the state’s public schools. House Bill 3084 will explicitly ban students who claim to be an imaginary animal or animal species or engage in anthropomorphic behavior commonly associated with furries from participating in school curricula or activities. In the case of a violation, a parent or guardian must pick up the offending students, or animal control services may be contacted to facilitate the student’s removal.

Furries are a community – or fandom – of people who share a common interest in anthropomorphic media, friendships and social inclusion.

While the intent behind the legislation is unclear, it raises questions about the necessity of such measures and potential violations of students’ First Amendment rights.

Rep. Humphrey justifies the bill by citing a debunked narrative involving schools providing litter boxes to furries, though little evidence suggests widespread problems in Oklahoma’s schools. In a video posted on X (formerly Twitter), Rep. Humphrey said, “If you got an animal coming to school, how about we get them vaccinated? How about we get them neutered, and how about we send them to the pound?”

Are Furries Really a Problem?

Humphrey said, “I don’t want one or two cases across the state to reflect on all of our teachers and all of our great superintendents.” While he emphasized that the issue was not prevalent in his district, District 19, he saw it as an issue in the Oklahoma City and Tulsa areas, and thus a statewide problem that needed immediate attention.

However, the lack of specific cases and the reliance on anecdotes raises questions about the urgency of such legislation. Humphrey admitted to not having a particular case and only mentioned a reported incident in Ponatak County and the concern of a family friend. This lack of concrete evidence raises concerns about the necessity of a statewide ban on furries in schools.

Constitutional Concerns

The First Amendment protects freedom of expression, and attempts to regulate furries’ self-expression could face constitutional challenges. In Tinker v. Des Moines Independent Community School District, the Supreme Court affirmed that symbolic student expression is protected unless it causes a substantial disruption to school activities or invades the rights of others.

While dressing up as anthropomorphized animals might be confusing or unsettling to some, it generally falls under protected expression. HB 3084 could remove students who merely claim to be a particular animal, even without wearing animal-related apparel. This raises questions about the potential impact on activities like high school mascots, typically welcomed in school settings.

The bill, seemingly dismissed by some as a stunt, underscores the potential consequences of absolute, indiscriminate bans on expression. Legislation targeting objectionable behavior might unintentionally restrict common or accepted practices within schools. The proposed law may jeopardize costumed mascots, a cherished tradition in many schools, from participating in events like pep rallies or sports games.

In conclusion, House Bill 3084’s attempt to ban furries in Oklahoma’s public schools raises concerns about its necessity and potential infringement on students’ First Amendment rights. The lack of concrete evidence supporting the need for such legislation and its potential impact on protected expression calls for reevaluating its merits. Ensuring that any proposed laws prioritize protecting students’ rights while addressing legitimate concerns thoughtfully and constitutionally is essential. As citizens, staying informed and advocating for policies that uphold our values and defend our freedoms is crucial.

Dr. Tamecca Rogers is Director of Diversity, Equity and Inclusion at Tulsa Technology Center. She is a writer and mom to three boys who love adventures.

Elle and Kai Kumar have enjoyed Lil’ Kickers soccer program for young children. Photo by Makenzie Howard Photography

Neel Kumar says he and his spouse, Erica Kumar, like to keep their young children, Elle, age 2, and Kai, age 5, active in the summer months. Since their children are very young, they look for age-appropriate programs.

“We’ve done Lil’ Kickers at SoccerCity,” Neel says, pointing out that the indoor facility is warm in the winter and air-conditioned in the summer. “Our goal is to find something that will keep them entertained, active and engaged.”

Lil’ Kickers is a youth soccer program for children between the ages of 18 months and 9 years old. It meets the Kumar’s criteria of being age-appropriate and fun.

Dustin Knight has been the Lil’ Kickers director at SoccerCity in Tulsa for nearly 15 years. The program serves over 900 children a season, including summer camps for very young children to camps for kids ages 9 or 10.

“Lil’ Kickers is a child development program,” Knight says. “It develops motor skills, eye-hand coordination and imagination. They use their energy, learn something new – and have some fun!”

As with any camp or program, returning counselors or coaches is an indication that the program has a well-trained staff, and that the kids are seeing consistent faces. Knight says his coaches receive good training, back-up and support, which helps maintain consistent staff.

“Some of our first Lil’ Kickers are now working for us as coaches,” Knight says. “It’s fun to see them grow up.”

A well-planned, consistent, developmentally appropriate program gives young children like Elle and Kai a sense of security and confidence. Parents should look for programs or activities that are play-based, allow exploration and challenge children without being frustrating. Discovery Lab is another place that meets that need for the Kumars. Neel says that Elle and Kai enjoy the interactive STEM learning in a safe, fun environment with a friendly staff.

Benefits of Day Camps

For older children, summer camps and activities can mean anything from extended time spent learning or honing a specific skill to traditional day camps or sleep-away camps.

Jacob McIntosh, director at Tulsa’s Camp Loughridge, says that traditional day camps like Camp Loughridge can give kids an opportunity to experience something totally new and to challenge them to do things they wouldn’t normally do.

Photo courtesy Camp Loughridge

Some of the experiences kids may have at Camp Loughridge and other traditional camps include mastering a ropes course, going on nature hikes, playing court sports, swimming, doing archery and arts and crafts. McIntosh says campers benefit from being outside away from electronics and making friends with kids from different backgrounds.

“Our counselors are also role models,” McIntosh says. “They’re modeling positive character traits for the kids.”

Above all, the staff must be well-trained, know how to keep kids busy and know how to have fun with kids.

“A really good staff could have a great camp in a parking lot,” McIntosh says.

Parents should ask camp directors about staff training, their ages and the ratio of kids to staff.

Talk to Camp Directors

McIntosh says that parents should also ask if a camp is accredited by the American Camp Association. “I wouldn’t send a kid to a camp unless it’s accredited,” he says. “And I would want to meet the director.”

Accreditation assures the parent that camps meet standards on health, safety and risk management for campers and staff, including such things as camper to counselor ratio.

McIntosh says it surprises him how few parents want to tour the camp. “Camps welcome that stuff,” he says. “Our business is parents and building relationships. Most camp directors want to give you a tour of their camp.”

A camp tour can be especially beneficial to calm anxious kids or parents. Knowing what the camp looks like, what a typical day involves and where things are in advance can go a long way in making a nervous camper (or parent) feel secure.

And, if parents are unsure about whether their child is ready for camp, McIntosh encourages them to make that call to the director. “Talk it through,” McIntosh says. “We take 6-year-olds, and it’s a long day for them. If they’re not physically active, and they don’t like being outside at age 6, this may not be the best place for them. A good camp director should be able to walk you through that.”

On the other hand, McIntosh says if parents feel good about their sending their child, if they’re doing well in school and can socialize and make friends, they’ll probably do just fine.

One question that McIntosh says comes up a lot is about honoring friend requests. Many kids want to come to camp with a friend, so Camp Loughridge does work to ensure that kids will be with their friends. If you want your child to be grouped with a friend at camp, ask.

Additional Questions to Ask

Questions that parents may not think to ask, but should, include how kids are grouped. Are they grouped by gender? Age? What are the sizes of the groups? Parents should also ask about medical staff. Is someone on-site or quickly accessible that can handle medical issues? What is the plan for medical emergencies? How does the camp handle giving regular medicine to children? What about discipline? What is the camp’s discipline policy, and how is staff trained to handle issues? Is there a policy for bullying or for dealing with difficult campers?

McIntosh says that camp directors welcome questions from parents – and he would love to give more tours of Camp Loughridge! Talk to directors about your concerns. And, if you want to know if your kid is enjoying a camp or summer activity, he says you’ll probably be able to tell.

“Is the kid coming home happy and are they excited for the next day?” he says. “Are they tired? Are they singing the camp songs on the way home? If I get a call from a mom or dad saying, ‘My kid won’t stop singing camp songs,’ then I know I’m doing my job.”

 Betty Casey is the associate publisher and editor in chief of TulsaKids Magazine. She has been with TulsaKids over 20 years. 

I was about to vomit all over my car. After a sleepless night, my son and I were on the road to Norman for his first competitive gymnastics meet. I was a bundle of nerves; not only because of my son’s first meet, but this was also the first time I would be with my ex-husband’s extended family since our divorce. (Also, my husband couldn’t come—we have three other kids between us—so there was always a lot of “divide and conquer.”) While our divorce was amicable, it did not erase the pain of ending a marriage, and I was not looking forward to being in close confines with his new wife and entire family for hours on end.

My nerves and anxiety aside, the gymnastics meet went as well as could be expected, and I made it through relatively unscathed. However, I soon began to realize that this was going to be the first of many instances where our families would have to figure out how to coexist in our new normal.

My son is now a freshman in college, and I would be lying through my teeth if I said things got easier after that first gymnastics meet. Birthdays, holidays, baseball games, football games, school conferences, homecoming, prom, graduation, college visits, even doctor appointments became major stressors in my life.

As I reflect on the ups and downs of co-parenting throughout the years, there are many things I wish I had handled differently. And while hindsight is 20/20, I have the battle scars from lessons learned and sage advice from some professionals that I hope might provide insight to others who are on the front lines of co-parenting.

Leave emotions behind

This was probably the biggest obstacle I faced. I cannot count how many times I would throw myself on the bed and scream into my pillow or sob for hours in the privacy of my closet (unfortunately, some of my meltdowns were not always so private).

“You need to think of this as a business relationship,” says Lorri Perez, senior program director for the Family and Child Center at Family & Children’s Services. “Your goal is to work together to raise your children to be functionally healthy, so you need to communicate with facts, not feelings.”

From my personal experience, this was much easier said than done, although I did try hard not to expose my son to my emotions.

“There is definitely a grieving process going through a divorce,” Perez says. “However, remember that divorce is not the child’s fault. Parents need to be the ‘adults’ and focus on the problem, not the person.”

Put your child first

This may seem like a no-brainer, but when emotions are raw and tempers run high, this sometimes can get lost.

“The number one pitfall I see is parents putting their own needs or wants above the needs of the children,” says Brad Cunningham, partner at Conner & Winters, LLP, who specializes exclusively in family law. “I see this most when parents fight about small details about the other parent getting to see the child after a sports game or attending a classroom party – and they don’t.”

Cunningham understands that parents are already missing time with their children and want as much time with them as possible. However, he stresses that the parents must understand how their actions impact their children.

“I recommend to all my clients to treat the other parent respectfully,” Cunningham says. “Be cordial and polite and do whatever is necessary to reduce stress in the children, even if it means working out a schedule to alternate attending classroom parties or sporting events.”

Establish boundaries

This one was also a tough one for me. I have always struggled with boundary setting, and this would not serve me well over the years.  Many awkward occasions such as mom, dad, son and stepmom in a crowded doctor’s office for a well-visit might have been avoided if those pesky boundaries had been clearly defined from the beginning. Fortunately, the doctor thought it was humorous and apologized for being “late to the party.” I, on the other hand, was mortified and angry. Did there really need to be three parents attending a child’s checkup? Did there really need to be a mom vs. stepmom showdown on prom photos and tuxedo shopping? Was there really a question on who should be a homeroom mom?

That would be a hard no.

But there I was, stuck in the middle of some truly painful situations.

“From the beginning, it’s important to negotiate with the other parent on what is the involvement of the stepparent,” Perez says. “Discuss expectations about the stepparent’s role and what that looks like for each family.”

For me, I think it was not recognizing what was realistic for our situation. I was naive in thinking that my son’s stepmother and I could share responsibilities and work together on various items. Often things would become territorial, which caused negative feelings toward the other, and then it all went downhill. There is no doubt we would have benefited from some boundary setting.

“You need to set realistic expectations,” Perez says. “Know yourself and whether you can handle going to events, et cetera as a big group or with the other parent. If someone isn’t on board with it, then it’s probably not a good idea.”

Plan ahead

While it might be overwhelming to figure out summer vacation plans in January, or holiday plans in July, it goes a long way in ensuring a smoother existence for everyone.

“In any situation where parents live separately, major life events can be tough to navigate,” Cunningham says. “The first and most important aspect is to have a set schedule for each parent’s time with the child/children, including holidays and vacations.”

Cunningham also emphasizes that other events like graduations, school assemblies and sporting events are not likely to be in the divorce decree, so it is paramount to discuss and work out logistics with the other parent far in advance.

“It’s important to be as specific as possible,” Cunningham says. “This could include such detail as how much time each parent gets to spend with the child before and after the event to where everyone sits.”

Resources

Family and Children Services offer several resources for parents going through divorce, or even afterwards if there are still issues. While their “Helping Children Cope with Divorce” class is state-mandated for all couples, Perez recommends an optional class for those still struggling with co-parenting.

“This is a great option for parents,” Perez says. “It’s a six-week course in a group setting focused on cooperative co-parenting. The group setting helps parents realize they are not alone and helps normalize their experiences.”

Family and Children Services also offers counseling sessions for the parents and the child, as a group or individually. And in extreme cases, a parenting coordinator can be appointed by the court to help resolve conflicts in a more informal setting.

“There will be mistakes and missteps throughout this journey,” Perez says. “The most important thing to do is to figure it out together—what realistically works for your situation. It won’t look the same for every family, but if you share the common goal of raising a happy and healthy child, you are on the right track.”

Marnie is an accomplished PR professional with over two decades of experience in public relations, community engagement, event planning, strategic communications, non-profit management, writing and media relations. 

Before having two children aged 2 and younger, I was already an expert. I had spent years in the classroom teaching twelve 1-year-old children and, while I’d relied on help from my co-teachers, I felt surely, with all of my wisdom and experience, I could handle my toddler and her baby sister effortlessly (or at least appear to). Spoiler alert: That’s not how this one ends.

While bringing another child into the equation does not shock the system as much as the transition from no kids to one kid, nothing can quite prepare you for certain moments when you find yourself outnumbered and on the spot. Suddenly you are the only adult present, and situations call for swift action. For me, there is one moment I recall with particular intensity.

It was a weekday like any other. We finished our breakfast, which consisted of one huge bowl of oatmeal or yogurt that my 2-year-old and 6-month-old would split with me. Bellies full and dressed for the day, we gathered up our gumption and opted to visit the library. This was a special treat for my oldest since we had been home quite a bit while we worked on potty learning. I also craved an outing, as my only companion for the past few days had been Daniel Tiger’s Neighborhood denizen Prince Wednesday, who was also mastering his sphincters. I longed to be away from the jaunty little tune, “If you have to go potty, stop and go right away!”

I threw a change of clothes, some clean rubber underpants (if you know, you know) and an overly optimistic quantity of baby wipes into a small tote and hit the door. Once at the library, I loaded the baby into a small stroller and slid the potty troubleshooting kit over my arm, leaving my actual diaper bag in the car. Why would I need that? Everyone was cleaned up before we left the house, after all. And I was an expert. Been there, done that, got the burp rag.

You can imagine my chagrin when, after I got the girls settled in the children’s area, that I realized I needed to follow Prince Wednesday’s musical advice. Gathering the little people, I got situated in the world’s tiniest stall and spent several minutes trying to persuade my daughter to try to potty once I was done. She declined, and I knew it was pointless to argue, so we moved on to the sinks.

Mid debate about the merits of hand hygiene with my 2-year-old, who touched every surface possible as a matter of deep personal conviction, the baby made a noise one cannot misconstrue. It was time to change her diaper. I set her on the table, removed the soiled diaper and sparingly used the few wipes I’d brought. Feeling a small sense of achievement at my wet-wipe economy, I reached into my bag for a diaper, only realizing then that I’d not packed any for either child. Oh no. Checking in my purse for my emergency backup diaper, I remembered that I’d used that the day before. I’d already tossed her previous one and realized I had no choice but to improvise a bottom-covering for my little one with only the materials on hand.

I allowed myself one more moment of internal screaming before I took a deep breath and channeled my MacGyver abilities. In the end, while I verbally calmed a confused infant and fielded endless, bizarre questions from the toddler, I used a postpartum pad stuck inside a pair of tiny training underwear, covered with a pair of rubber underpants. I still recall the feel of the changing table, the sound of the hand dryer that my toddler kept setting off and the feeling deep within my soul that, in this moment, I am the only person who can handle what is happening, that these little darling (if inconvenient) children are relying on me.

I was not an expert, nor was I prepared for every eventuality that came my way as a parent to two very young children. But over time, I began to trust my gut (Pack an actual diaper bag, Alicia) and found systems to help me plan for most situations. If you’re about to embark on the fabulous and chaotic journey that is wrangling multiple young children solo, here are some systems and ideas that helped me.

Squirrel Away the Goods

In your car, stash away a few extra diapers, wipes, changes of clothes, plastic trash bags and jackets. You’d be surprised at the number of times they come in handy. Check your sizes now and then so you can size up the diapers and clothes to suit growing bodies. One tote bag, tucked under my seat, served this purpose for many years and saved my bacon over and over again.

Hanger is the Enemy of Us All

With little people come big feelings. Small stomachs (and the larger ones belonging to their caregivers) go from full to bursting to empty within a heartbeat. Frankly, it’s difficult to think of a situation that a snack did not help. Carry a few nibbles with you, along with bottles for babies and water cups for toddlers.

Keep Calm and Carry On

Most of the time, even when odd or aggravating situations come along, no one is truly at great risk. Take a deep breath, look to the little faces that will no doubt be looking to you for guidance and lead the way with confidence. If not always possible in the moment, you can often find humor in your circumstances and get a good laugh.

Ask for Help

If you’re struggling with navigating an issue (like loading up a rowdy preschooler while juggling a little baby or keeping walkers near you in crowded areas), ask a friend how they handle it. Invite your partner or a friend to come along with you, if possible, to alleviate some of the stress. And if you’re just not feeling up to task on a particular day, it’s perfectly reasonable to stay home and keep it simple.

When you prepare for a few needs, give yourself grace to mess up or call it quits and recruit the wisdom, experience and support of others. You’ll find that being outnumbered most often leads to a special sweetness both in your memory and in those of your children. Trust me. I’m an expert.

Alicia Kobilnyk is an Early Childhood Educator who works with young toddlers. She finds joy and inspiration to write in their cheeky shenanigans, as well as those of her three daughters.