The Calm Before the Holidays

As the calendar turns to November, families begin to feel that familiar pull—school events, holiday plans, travel coordination, and the endless to-do lists that come with the season. Before the whirlwind begins, it’s worth pausing to create a little calm before the holidays. Slowing down now allows families to enter the season grounded, connected and ready to enjoy what truly matters.

Slow the Pace

The quiet weeks of early November are the perfect time to breathe. Schedule one or two unstructured weekends before Thanksgiving. Let everyone stay in pajamas, enjoy breakfast together and move through the day without rushing. Children thrive when they have downtime to play freely and recharge emotionally. A slower pace now creates emotional reserves for the busier weeks ahead.

Set Gentle Expectations

Holiday stress often comes from unrealistic expectations—perfect decorations, flawless dinners, or everyone getting along. Try setting a new tone this year. Ask each family member what matters most to them about the season. Maybe it’s baking cookies, watching a favorite movie or visiting grandparents. Simplify plans around those priorities and let go of the rest. When expectations are realistic, joy becomes easier to find.

Keep Routines Steady

Routines are especially important around the holidays because this time of year often brings increased stress, disrupted schedules and heightened emotions. They act as an emotional and organizational anchor—a steady rhythm that gives children (and adults) a sense of security even when everything else feels unpredictable.

Familiar routines like bedtime, meals and morning rituals provide stability and predictability, helping everyone manage emotions, maintain healthy habits and reduce stress. Even simple structure—like having breakfast together, taking a short walk after dinner or reading before bed—helps children feel grounded and supported.

Here are a few gentle routines families can keep through the holidays without feeling over-scheduled:

• Morning Moments: Wake up and eat breakfast at a consistent time. Take a few quiet minutes to stretch, read a story or talk about the day ahead.
• Shared Mealtimes: Try to eat together at roughly the same times each day. Include a healthy choice alongside holiday treats and use mealtime for connection.
• Movement Breaks: Schedule a short walk, dance party or backyard playtime daily. Movement helps burn energy, relieve stress and improve sleep.
• Quiet or “Wind-Down” Time: Spend 15–20 minutes of quiet time before bed—reading, coloring or listening to calm music. Keep bedtime consistent, even during gatherings.
• Daily Connection: Pick one simple family ritual each day—baking, storytelling or sharing gratitude. These moments build security and joyful memories.
• Flexible Planning: Create a loose outline for visits or events, and let children know what to expect. Predictability helps everyone feel calm and included.
• Care for Yourself, Too: Parents often carry the emotional load of making the holidays magical. Make space for your own calm—take a walk, listen to music or enjoy a quiet cup of coffee before the day begins. When parents are centered, children sense that calm and reflect it back.
• Keep the Focus on Connection The best memories rarely come from perfect moments—they come from laughter, shared stories and simple time together. By slowing the pace, protecting routines and cultivating gratitude, families can turn November into a month of renewal instead of rush.

Takeaway

Slow down now so you can show up joyfully later. The calm before the holidays isn’t wasted time—it’s the foundation for a meaningful, memorable season ahead.

Angela Percival-Porter is a child development specialist for the State of Oklahoma. She is an adjunct professor, former director of an NAEYC-accredited early learning center, and a consultant to childcare centers.