How to Bond With Your Baby Through Reading and Touch
How combining stories with nurturing touch can strengthen the bond between you and your little one.
We are all looking for connection and bonding. In fact, connection with others is essential to our survival—especially for infants and children. Connection takes time, yet time is one of the scarcest resources in our busy world.
Books offer a simple, meaningful way to connect and bond with your baby or child. Children are never too young to be read to. In fact, hearing is one of the first senses to develop in utero, so you can begin reading—and bonding—with your baby even before birth.
Another important ingredient to add to book time is touch. Touch is a basic human need, not simply a want. Infants who experience a lack of nurturing touch can experience serious developmental consequences, including failure to thrive. When we combine books and touch, we are not only supporting early literacy and cognitive development but also meeting a fundamental need that can strengthen connection and bonding.
And it doesn’t have to be complicated. You don’t need to take a class or learn a special technique. Simply “drawing” a story on your child’s back is an easy way to combine touch, bonding and literacy.
Ways to draw a story through touch include:
- Take a fingerplay such as The Itsy Bitsy Spider and “draw” the motions on your child’s back instead of doing them in the air.
- With If You’re Happy and You Know It, draw a smile and gently “clap” on your child’s back for “happy” and “clap your hands.”
- For Twinkle, Twinkle, Little Star, draw a star, an arrow pointing “up above” and a circle for “the world.”
It’s simple and meaningful. And something you can do almost anywhere.
Want to Know More?
I Love You Rituals by Becky A. Bailey, PhD, offers many ideas for incorporating nurturing touch into everyday interactions while supporting connection, reducing stress, encouraging language development and—most importantly—enjoying time together.
3 Tips to Help You Bond With Your Baby
- Relax
Your baby or child can pick up on your emotional state. When you are calm and relaxed, it can help your child feel calm and safe, too.
- Take a few deep breaths
Deep breathing can help you slow down, become more present and reduce stress. Give yourself a moment to breathe before beginning your special time together.
- Read your baby’s cues.
If your child turns away, cries, becomes overwhelmed or is sleeping, try again another time. We don’t always need stimulation. Our brains, bodies and emotions all need opportunities to rest and recharge.
Most importantly, remember to slow down, connect and enjoy one another!
Angela Percival-Porter is a child development specialist for the State of Oklahoma. She is an adjunct professor, former director of an NAEYC-accredited early learning center, and a consultant to childcare centers.
