5 Ways to Build Better Screen Habits

Most parents have been there. You hand your child a phone, tablet or other device to keep them occupied. Sometimes—during a doctor’s appointment, a dinner out or a long wait—it can be a lifesaver.

The challenge is that screens don’t just occupy our children—they occupy us, too. When children constantly see adults looking at phones, tablets and computers, they naturally become curious—and they also notice when a screen gets more attention than they do.

I often see children in restaurants, grocery stores, community events, parks and even during meals completely absorbed in a device. In those moments, they’re missing valuable learning opportunities: how to make conversation, practice table manners, be polite to others, observe the world around them or simply ask questions about nature, food or life.

These everyday experiences help young children build language, curiosity, patience and social skills—the building blocks they’ll use long before they enter a classroom.

It’s time to intentionally put our own screens down, make eye contact, use our facial expressions and engage in meaningful conversations with our children.

Building Better Screen Habits

If screens have become a habit in your family—or you’re starting to notice they are—there is hope. Habits can change. Consider trying some of these strategies the next time you’re tempted to hand your child a screen:

• Be prepared. Pack books, snacks, fidgets, crayons, coloring pages or other small activities to keep your child engaged.
• Be creative. Keep a few “special” items in your bag or car that your child only sees occasionally. Even inexpensive treasures from a dollar store can feel exciting when they’re new.
• Be consistent. If you establish a rule about screen time, stick with it. Consistency helps children know what to expect.
• Be a role model. Put your own phone away more often. Be present. Talk with your child about what you see, hear, smell or notice around you. Those everyday conversations are powerful learning opportunities.
• Be mindful. Set screen time limits ahead of time and communicate them clearly. Use a timer so children know when screen time will end. If you’ll be somewhere for an extended period, consider balancing activities by saying, “You can play with these toys for a while, and then you’ll have a few minutes with my phone.”

We live in a fast-paced, busy, screen-filled world. Technology has its place, but so do face-to-face conversations, shared experiences and moments of connection.

Every now and then, put the screens away and simply be together. Stop and smell the roses. Look around. Laugh together. Enjoy each other.

Those are the moments children will remember long after the batteries are dead.

Angela Percival-Porter is a child development specialist for the State of Oklahoma. She is an adjunct professor, former director of an NAEYC-accredited early learning center, and a consultant to childcare centers.