10 things I’ve learned in 2010

December 15, 2009

December 15, 2010

These are in no order whatsoever, much like the past 12 months of my life.

1. If you do not have children never, repeat never, start a sentence with “my child will never…”. You’re not only setting up yourself for failure, you’re setting yourself up to look like an idiot.

2. High chairs don’t stay clean, they just don’t. If you’re able to keep the actual tray area clean, job well done.

3. ‘Mother’s Intuition’ is real. It’s powerful, necessary and should be taken very seriously.

4. Never leave the house without a diaper or wipes. The minute you get cocky and make that quick run to Reasors a mile from your house, is the very minute a massive explosion will occur rivaling Pompei.

5. That “next glass of wine” isn’t worth it. It may sound like a good idea at the time, but inevitably your baby WILL wake up at 4 a.m if not earlier. IMPORTANT: Don’t listen to your friends telling you “just one more glass”. They either don’t have any children or have one of “those” husbands (the ones that get up with the kids to let you sleep in. I’ve heard of this rare species, but have yet to meet one myself).

6. Never judge another mother. You may be a baby massaging, cloth diapering earth-mother that breast fed your child until he/she was 4, but you never know what that mother feeding their baby formula is or has gone through. Breast feeding is hard.

7. Wash and sanitize your hands every chance you get. Not only for sick germs, but there could be baby poop on that grocery cart. I personally looked at my hands while carting through the grocery store one day to find a big swab of yellow baby poop on my thumb. I can’t be sure how far back the trail began. Sorry.

8. Tubby time is a gift from God. It’s the only time my baby is 1) always happy 2) confined to one area 3) if you’re having a rough day, a freshly clean baby can always make it better. It’s like an awesome reset button for both the mother and baby.

9. The one and ONLY time being called “chubby” is a good thing is when someone is talking about your baby. It’s a compliment. If someone said “oh, your baby is so skinny” or “your baby has the tiniest waist” that’s not good. CHUBBY BABY IS A GOOD.

10. Anyone who has a problem with breast-feeding in public misses the whole boat all together.
If it’s a woman–ok, you obviously haven’t ever dealt with a hungry 2-week-old. There isn’t time to find a private place. There’s barely time to get your boob out.

If it’s a man–they’re just embarrassed because they haven’t grown out of their thirteen year-old mentality and can’t make themselves look at your face no matter what. They just keep thinking “boobie, boobie, boobie”!