What To Expect When You’re Expecting Your First Grandchild!

If you’re a new grandparent or about to become one, congratulations! You’re entering a fantastic stage of life, one that might contain a lot of unexpected emotions and experiences. How do you prepare for becoming a grandparent? There’s a book for new parents called What to Expect When Expecting, but what should you expect when you’re expecting your first grandchild?

Just as becoming a parent for the first time ushered in a new era of life, becoming a grandparent does the same. Some variables that might impact your experience as a grandparent include geography, emotional connection with the parents of the new baby, and your preferences for what type of grandparent you want to be.

Here are five things to expect:

1. Changes

Times have changed since we had babies, and it’s essential that you recognize and respect the changes. One of the first changes was the first few hours after our first grandchild was born. When we had babies, everyone was invited into the hospital room immediately to see the new baby. Now, many couples choose to have the “golden hour” alone with their newborn. After hours spent in the waiting room, we were anxious to see our daughter and new grandchild, but we had to wait. All evidence points to the golden hour having multiple benefits for the couple and the newborn. Some parents even prefer to have the first few days without visitors. Ask your grandbaby’s parents what their preferences are and respect their wishes. Don’t worry, there will be many opportunities to hold your new grandchild in the days, weeks, months, and years to come.

That’s only the beginning of what has changed since we became parents. The list of changes is long, but it includes baby positioning in the crib, what goes in the crib, car seat requirements, and crib safety guidelines. Keep your mind open and adapt. Just because we did things a certain way doesn’t mean it remains the best way. This generation of parents may parent differently from us, but that doesn’t mean their style isn’t just as good or even better.

2. Advice

Don’t give unsolicited advice to the new parents. This may be one of the more challenging aspects of becoming a grandparent. Unless you think your grandchild is in danger, keep your opinion to yourself. If you’re asked, that’s totally different. Some new parents want suggestions and help knowing what to do. If that’s the case, feel free to gently guide the new parents. Contrary to what I said about not giving unsolicited advice, I’m advising you to keep a clear line of communication open with your grandchild’s parents and respect their rules and boundaries.

3. Stuff

As soon as we heard we were going to be grandparents, we started spending our Saturday evenings haunting all the baby departments of the big box stores. We were so excited, we wanted to buy everything, and we did go a bit overboard. What you really need depends on how often the grandchild will be in your care. If you ever transport them, a car seat and the knowledge to use it properly are a must. If they’ll be sleeping over, you’ll need a safe space (not in bed with you!) for an infant to sleep. By the time the baby is mobile, you’ll want to babyproof your house. If the baby will be a frequent visitor, their parents will be grateful if you keep a supply of diapers, wipes, and a few changes of clothing so they don’t have to bring everything when they visit. A high chair is a good investment if your grandchild will be eating at your house. I wasted money on way too many baby clothes that were quickly outgrown and toys that weren’t played with.

In my opinion, books fall into the category of absolute necessity. I bought new books, but by the time my grandchild was six months old, we were going to the library and checking out books once a week. Reading to your new grandchild is important for their language development, and maybe more importantly, it’s a positive bonding activity!

Many baby supplies may be bought second-hand to save money. It is not recommended that you buy car seats second-hand, as their safety may have been compromised in an accident. If buying a used crib, check that it meets current safety standards.

4. Share

There are usually two sets of grandparents. In some cases, divorce and remarriage may have created three or four sets of grandparents. Don’t hog the new baby, take your turn, and don’t be competitive with the other grands. Holidays can be a time when grandparents feel slighted if they don’t get to share the day with the new grandbaby. We solved this issue by inviting the other grandparents to our house for the holidays. That’s not always possible. It’s important not to play tug-of-war, which may create stress or hurt feelings. Sometimes you have to be the bigger person and put your feelings aside for the sake of harmony. Many adults need to remember what we tell toddlers, “You get what you get, and you don’t throw a fit!”

5. A crazy level of deep love

You expect to love your grandchild, but what will most likely hit you is a different level of love. I don’t have the words to describe how smitten you will most likely be with your grandchildren. Don’t worry if it doesn’t happen the minute you hold the baby in your arms. Sometimes it takes a little time, and sometimes it’s love at first sight. They say that having a child is like agreeing to having your heart live outside your body, but what I didn’t expect was that it’s also true with grandchildren. Grandparents and grandchildren have a strong, unique bond. We get to love unconditionally without the responsibilities of parenting. We get to be their friends and playmates. It’s a gift, a reward for getting older, and the intensity of the love you’ll feel is the most unexpected, but wonderful benefit of becoming a grandparent.