Books for Kids About Loss and Grieving

Death is an inherent and unavoidable part of life, but that doesn’t make it any less challenging for parents to discuss with their kids. Coming up Dec. 2–8 is National Grief Awareness Week, a suitable occasion for parents to broach this important but difficult topic. Here are some of the best books about loss and grieving for toddlers, young kids, tweens and teens.

Books For Toddlers (2-4 years old)

“Something Very Sad Happened,” by Bonnie Zucker; (Magination Press)

Toddlers have a hard time understanding the finality of death: that someone they loved and cared for, and who loved and cared for them in turn, is no longer there. In “Something Very Sad Happened,” Bonnie Tucker does a good job of explaining, in language that toddlers can understand, what death means and what it feels like when someone passes. Toddlers learn that it’s normal to feel sad and cry when someone has died. Key words in the story are highlighted in red to encourage parents to insert the name and pronoun of people who may have passed in their own family.

At the end of the book is a useful note to parents with further information about how to talk to kids about death, guidelines for answering their questions, advice for attending funerals and visiting cemeteries with kids, and ideas for commemorating loved ones. The author, Dr. Bonnie Zucker, is a psychologist who’s written many other books for and about children.

Books For Young Kids (5-8 years old)

“I Miss You,” by Pat Thomas; (Turtleback Books)

Written with a slightly older audience in mind, this book in rhymes also does a good job of explaining to kids the nature of loss and grieving. In simple and straightforward language, the book focuses on the physical aspects of what happens to the body when someone passes (their body organs stop functioning), and the different reasons why people die (accidents, sickness, old age).

The author, Pat Thomas, is a psychotherapist who works in the field of child development. The book is part of the 40-volume “A First Look At” series for young kids, all written by Pat Thomas. Other titles in this series on mental health and well-being explore topics like bullying, conflict resolution, honesty, respect and sibling rivalry.

Books For Tweens (9-12 years old)

“How I Feel,” by Mia Rolden; (Callisto Kids)

For tweens, who typically do understand what death entails, there’s more of a need for books that can help them through the grieving process after a loved one has passed. “How I Feel,” a grief journal with guided writing prompts specifically aimed at tweens, fills that need. Divided into three major parts – “Explore Your Feelings,” “Create Comfort,” and “Find Peace” – the book prompts tweens to reflect on and write about topics like the source of their grief and what caused it, people in their lives who truly understand them and might be able to help them while they’re grieving, and places that give them comfort and allow them to find a sense of peace.

The author, Mia Roldan, is a mental health counselor with decades of experience working with young kids and families on loss and grieving. She’s the author of several other books on mental health.

Books For Teens (13 years and older)

“Healing Your Grieving Heart for Teens,” by Alan Wolfelt; (Companion Press)

Like “How I Feel,” this book also features good advice and useful writing prompts, aimed at a more mature audience of teens. The book offers 100 different facts and action-oriented tips related to death and grieving to which readers are encouraged to respond with their personal experiences. This includes important topics such as the difference between grief (one’s internal thoughts and feelings) and mourning (one’s expression of those thoughts and feelings to others), and the various steps of the mourning process (acknowledging the reality of the death, embracing the pain of the loss, remembering the person who died, and receiving ongoing support from others).

The author, Dr. Alan Wolfelt, is the founder of the Center for Loss & Life Transition and one of the foremost death educators and grief counselors in North America. The book is part of the 24-volume “Healing Your Grieving Heart” series, all written by Dr. Wolfelt.

Tanni Haas, Ph.D. is a Professor in the Department of Communication Arts, Sciences, and Disorders at The City University of New York – Brooklyn College.