A Mother’s Obsession with Poo

Now that’s the face of a boy with healthy bowels. Because, let’s face it, our moms were right to be concerned with our poo all of these years.

Here is a conversation I’ve had with my mother at least a hundred times:

Me: “Mom, I don’t feel good.”

Mom: “Have you taken a good b.m. lately?”

Me: “Yes, mother, but I don’t think that’s the answer to everything.”

Mom: “Was it healthy?”

Me: “What do you mean, mom?”

Mom: “Well, what did it look like?”

Me: “Ew, mother, I’ve got to go.”

Mom: “Make sure you’re drinking plenty of water.”

Normally, I wouldn’t disclose all of this, but I have a strong feeling that this is a universal conversation had by mothers and their children throughout history. Just admit it.

Growing up, I thought my mom was just nuts. Little did I know that the answer to everything could be found in a diaper…followed by a quick Google search.  It’s the only way to find out what is going on with your children when they’re too young to communicate. Get to the bottom of it, if you will…pun intended.

My husband is completely grossed out by my inspection. He’s just grossed out by diapers in general. Every single diaper that he changes (which is 1 in 50, at best) is “the biggest, smelliest poop” that our son has ever taken. Right…I”m sure.

What brings me to this subject is that I had forgotten how insane breastmilk poo is. First of all, it amazes me how much can come out of something so little. It’s up her back, it’s down her leg, it’s like a surgical procedure to get it all out of her little fat rolls on her chubby thighs.  Also, having a girl is a whole different deal. With boys you can freely wipe, but with girls the whole front-to-back technique takes some getting used to.

Washing the changing pad cover is on the daily, and having an extra outfit (or two) in the diaper bag is a must. Not to mention a plastic sack at all times for the outfits that fall victim….which are always the cutest ones you’ve been saving to show her off in. So then, by the time you actually get to the place you’re taking her to show her off, she’s in one of her brother’s old outfits. Doh!

Still, all of this is worth it for them to have gone poo, because it turns out, my mom was right…again.