Learning Together Through Martial Arts

Tara Rittler,
Doty Family Circa 2023
Bryce, Lillian and Tim Doty circa 2023

It’s no secret that time is a commodity often in short supply for busy families. Between work, school, extracurricular activities and social engagements, other important pursuits, like family time and self-care, may get put on the back burner. According to a 2023 Pew Research Center study, 73% of Americans view family time as their top priority, over other activities like working out, creative endeavors, religious practice, etc. But even top priorities can lose out as more and more commitments creep in.

One way to increase family time is to take a class together. Midtown Martial Arts, for example, offers classes for ages 7 and up (in addition to a Midtown Minis program for younger students), and several local families have found taekwondo to be a meaningful shared activity. The Doty family — dad Tim; Bryce, age 17; and Lillian, age 14 — is one of these. Tim and Bryce Doty enrolled at Midtown Martial Arts together in December 2021 and were joined by Lillian about a year and a half later. All three are now well on their way to becoming black belts.

Their initial motivations for enrolling were all slightly different. Bryce had a longstanding interest in learning martial arts; Tim, who had done some karate as a youth, was interested in more physical activity; and Lillian needed a new enrichment activity.

“I’d been trying a lot of sports and kind of gave up on a lot of them,” Lillian says. “And they were encouraging me [to try taekwondo], so I was like, ‘I’ll check it out.’ It’s been really fun.”

Encouragement and competition

In addition to the familial motivation, Lillian says she appreciates that “there’s more of an end goal with taekwondo versus other sports. There’s a goal that you can see with each belt, and it just keeps me more encouraged to go to the next one.”

And that clear progression can lead to a little friendly competition, too, which doesn’t hurt. Both Bryce and Tim have earned their “high blue” belts, and Lillian is close behind at “high green.”

Because students may be ready to test for their next belt at different times, “We’ve traded off and on,” says Tim, referring to himself and Bryce. “They line up in class based on rank and age, so he’ll achieve a belt before me a lot of times. And then if I catch up, I get placed in front of him, age-wise.”

“It’s a little annoying sometimes,” says Bryce. “I have to go lower because I’m used to being top of the line.” However, “It’s not a big problem.”

“I think you guys were high green when I started,” Lillian says, “and that’s where I am now. I caught up to you guys very quickly, and I think that was also sort of a motivation. I was like, ‘I’ve got to catch up! I’ve got to catch up!’”

But along with that competitive spirit is a clear enjoyment in learning and growing together.

Building bonds and building resilience

Bryan Tosh, who owns Midtown Martial Arts along with his wife, Ashley Tosh, finds a lot of value in families learning martial arts together — starting with an observation that it can give parents a more balanced perspective on what their kids experience when they train.

“I feel like parents — and I know because I am a parent — we want our kids to have some drive in something. We have all these hopes for them, and we want them to be healthy and live balanced lives,” he says. “And if you pick martial arts, I feel like sometimes parents are trying to kind of live vicariously through their kids.”

He vividly recalls a time that a student’s dad was doing a little too much coaching from the sidelines during classes. “And so I said, ‘Sir, you’re always welcome to step on the mats here with us,’” Tosh recounts. “A few weeks later, he signed up. And I just thought it was great. I loved to watch them.”

Of course, this kind of invitation isn’t possible in a lot of other sports. “The coach at the basketball court or the coach at the soccer field can’t say, ‘Alright, buddy, you want to yell so much, you get your tail out here,’” Tosh says. “But here we can. And then they get out there, and they’re like, ‘Oh, this is actually hard.’”

“I’m very thankful to see all these kids and parents doing this together,” he continues. “Because then the kid gets to see Mom or Dad realize that it’s not easy. They can encourage each other, and I think it creates a really special bond.”

Part of this bond comes from the fact that martial arts “is a very physically and very emotionally demanding activity,” says Tosh. “You get hit. And you have to learn how to work through some things that are painful and scary.”

Doing something difficult together can give family members new perspectives on one another, too. Bryce Doty says that doing taekwondo with his sister has helped him see a more resilient side of her than he may have otherwise.

“I think that’s true” Tim says. “I think your [Lillian’s] toughness has really come out. It’s nice to see that. It’s not easy to take these hits sometimes, and so for you to keep pushing is pretty impressive.”

Bryan Tosh And Family

Bryan Tosh with his sons (L-R) Leon, Braden and Hank

Practical considerations

Doing a physical activity together may be the perfect solution for parents who struggle to fit their own workouts into a packed schedule. Lauren Dooley and her son Jack, age 7, started taking classes at Midtown Martial Arts together more recently. She enrolled Jack in January 2025. Around that time, Dooley was looking for a new workout routine; but although she’d considered joining Jack in class, she wasn’t sure if it would be challenging enough. However, after participating in a special Mother’s Day class, “I was like, ‘OK, this will be enough for me to get a workout in if I need to,’” Dooley says. “I got my heart rate up, and I was happy.”

Jack has really enjoyed having his mom in class with him. “It’s kind of funny,” she says, “One of the days one of the little girls was like, ‘How does it feel for your son to have a higher belt than you?’ Which, I really don’t care. But he likes it, and he wants to help me with my pattern and different things like that. So it’s a good opportunity for him to teach me something.”

Lauren and Jack Dooley practicing taekwondo

Lauren and Jack Dooley

A sampling of classes and ongoing activities parents and kids can do together

Archery – Check the City of Tulsa’s upcoming programs at tulsaparks.recdesk.com for this or other recreational opportunities.

Cards/Gaming/DnD – Many card/game shops host weekly Pokémon, Magic, and other TCG tournaments for all ages, in addition to community DnD nights, video game tournaments, etc.

Community Theatre – Local theatre groups, like Spotlight Children’s Theatre, Green Country Children’s Theatre and others, often have open auditions for all ages.

Dancing – The Oklahoma Swing Syndicate hosts monthly dances for all ages.

Fencing – Tulsa Fencing Alliance offers beginners classes for ages 12+, and Tulsa Fencing Club’s beginner classes are ages 10+.

Martial Arts – In addition to Midtown Martial Arts, other local studios offer mixed-ages classes. Golden Dragon Taekwondo, a 2025 Family Favorite, has a specific Family Class, for example.

Tulsa City-County Library – TCCL has several programs that teens and adults can do together, including book clubs, knitting and crafting groups, etc.

Tulsa Rock and Mineral Society – Kids up to age 18 can participate in the Pebble Pups program while adults socialize before the general monthly meeting.

For younger learners

Many businesses offer classes/activities for caregivers and children ages 5 and under. Here are a few places to start your search:

Aug 2025 Midtown Martial Arts Pin

Categories: Education, Features

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