Nine Tips for Traveling with Three Generations

It’s summer, which means vacations for many families, and often grandparents are part of the vacation plans. It can be challenging at times, but the benefits of traveling with three generations outweigh any inconveniences. We’ve traveled quite often with our kids and grandkids, and these are some things we’ve learned.

1. Planning

Involve everyone in the decision-making process and then assign one person to be the one to make the reservations. Most families will have one person who enjoys the position of organizer and likes to take over the details of the trip. In our family, it’s the oldest daughter, who possesses natural leadership skills. She likes to be in charge, and we all benefit from her ability to make plans.

2. Budget

Decide on a budget that is comfortable for everyone. Are you all on a Paris-level budget or, like us, a State Park-style economy plan? No one should feel pressured to spend to the point of feeling stressed. Going to all-inclusive resorts can alleviate some financial anxiety once you’re at your destination.

3. Space

If you can afford it, having separate hotel rooms or a large vacation rental home is preferable. Grandparents adore their grandchildren but might need some occasional downtime if they aren’t used to that level of activity and interaction. On our recent trip, we had connecting cabins, which were a perfect compromise.

4. Ages and abilities

These two factors need to be considered in the planning stage and the day-to-day trip. Consider what will be appropriate for the children while also taking into account the grandparents’ ages and abilities. If there are accessibility issues for anyone or a need to be close to medical facilities, these must be integral parts of the location choice.

5. Sharing responsibilities

When we’re on a trip with our kids and grandkids, we try to take the kids for an hour or two occasionally to give their parents a short break. Taking turns planning and cooking meals shares the burden. One evening on our recent trip, my husband took the grandchildren on a walk along the lake while the rest of the adults sat on the deck. I felt a little guilty for not going along to help, but later he said the walk was one of his favorite parts of the trip. It’s good for the grandparents to have some time with the grandkids, and it’s good for the parents to have a few small breaks from responsibility.

6. Respect the parents’ rules

At home or on vacation, it’s essential for the grandparents to respect the parents’ rules. They have the final say about their children. In return, we are happy when our grandchildren’s parents allow us a few indulgences, such as buying the grandkids something from the gift shop or letting them have a late-night snack.

7. Rest time

Toddlers and grandparents may require an afternoon nap (or could it just be me?). The oldest and youngest generations might also need more frequent bathroom and “stretch our legs” stops on road trips. Be aware of the needs of all three generations and plan activities accordingly.

8. Flexibility

The middle generation might prefer eating dinner at 8, but the 2-year-old child and the 75-year-old grandparent probably will be happier with the early-bird seating at 5 or 6. No one is going to get to do what they prefer all the time, so be flexible. I didn’t really want to go on a butterfly scavenger hunt, but seeing how excited my 5-year-old granddaughter was about it got me out of the air-conditioned cabin to look for butterflies!

9. Communicate

As with every situation and relationship, communication is the key. Be honest but do so with kindness. I wonder why we’re often more polite and considerate to strangers than we are to our family members. It is possible, but not always easy, to communicate openly and honestly while also being thoughtful and kind.

Taking a vacation with three generations is a gift, sometimes a messily wrapped gift, but definitely a present. This summer we’re taking four short trips with our kids and grandkids, so we should be experts by September! There will be memories made, relationships strengthened, and unforgettable experiences had. These are the times that we hope will be remembered; these are the “good old days.”