Beyond Labels: Building Belonging for All Kids
Walk into an elementary school classroom and you’ll find a mix of personalities. Some kids are eager to answer every question, while others prefer to observe quietly. Some children shine in math, some get lost in books, and others come alive with a paintbrush in hand. Now imagine a child who experiences the world in a way that doesn’t always fit the usual rhythm of the classroom. They might avoid eye contact, communicate differently, or move at their own pace. These are the children who remind us that learning is not one-size-fits-all.
Neurodiverse students and students with disabilities bring something irreplaceable to the classroom. When we choose to see them not for what services they need, but for the gifts they bring, we begin to understand that inclusion is not just about fairness—it’s about community. That’s what I learned after talking with Paula Bearden, a counselor at Tulsa Tech who has spent years watching the power of belonging transform lives. Although she primarily works with high schoolers, her insights extend back to the elementary years, when children are first forming ideas about what it means to belong.
Belonging and inclusion
So, what does belonging look like? Bearden describes it beautifully: “Belonging means being seen and valued for the different ways they see any given situation. They want authentic and organic interactions that show connecting with them is meaningful.” She adds, with a smile, that many of these students have the sharpest comedic timing—funny without even trying. It’s a reminder that belonging isn’t about changing who a child is; it’s about noticing, celebrating and valuing them as they are.
Bearden believes inclusion is one of the greatest gifts we can give our kids early in life. “Having students participate in interactions, at any age, with others of ALL abilities is an amazing opportunity to prepare them for life’s unexpected twists and turns. Inclusion equals community,” she explained. Think about that for a moment: When children grow up learning side by side with peers who think, move or communicate differently, they develop empathy, patience and adaptability—skills that matter far beyond the classroom. They are learning how to be good humans.
But inclusion isn’t only about supports or accommodations. Too often, conversations focus on what services a student needs rather than what strengths they already bring. Bearden emphasizes that schools must also highlight qualities like honesty, courage, patience and kindness—the very values we all want our children to carry into adulthood. By focusing on character and resilience, we remind every child that they are more than a label.
Advice for parents
For parents who want to see more inclusion in their schools, Bearden’s advice is practical: “Find the research that supports inclusion and then find the faces that represent the benefits. Interview students, educators, business owners and parents in your community who can show how inclusion positively impacts everyone. Never give up advocating.”
Sometimes that means showing up at a school meeting with articles in hand. Sometimes it means telling your child’s story, so others see their humanity first. And sometimes it’s just persistence—knowing that change is slow but possible.
Inclusion benefits everyone
Bearden shared one story that captures why this matters so deeply. In 2020, a young man enrolled in Tulsa Tech’s Mobile App Development program. At the time, he didn’t make eye contact and wore a mask all year. Still, he thrived. Encouraged by his progress, he returned the following year for more IT classes. Over time, something incredible happened—he got his driver’s license, began taking on IT projects, and grew into a confident, independent young adult. His parents often thank Tulsa Tech, but Bearden is quick to say the real credit belongs to him and to the inclusive environment that gave him space to flourish. “Inclusion benefits us ALL,” she said.
What does this mean for our elementary classrooms? It means every time we encourage kids to sit with someone different at lunch, or when teachers adapt lessons so every child can participate, we are planting seeds of empathy and acceptance. It means telling our children that everyone—whether they crack the funniest jokes or quietly code an app—deserves to belong.
Inclusion is not charity. It’s not a favor. It’s a mindset that benefits us all. When we move beyond labels and focus on building belonging, we change not just one child’s life, but the future of our entire community.
Dr. Tamecca Rogers serves as Director of Student Access and Success at Tulsa Technology Center. An award-winning author and filmmaker, she is committed to diversity, equity and inclusion in all her endeavors. Photo by Denice Toombs-Dotson with Lasting Impressions Photography.
