10 Qualities of Good Grandparents

There are many styles of grandparenting, and who is to say if one is better than the other. There are so many variables involved, such as the age and health of the grandparents, geographic proximity, and working status. There is no way to be a perfect grandparent, but many ways to be a good grandparent. This list is not comprehensive, but these are 10 qualities good grandparents have in common.

1. Rules

Good grandparents respect the rules the grandchildren’s parents have set. For example, if the grandkids are being raised in a sugar-free home, you must resist the urge to bake sugary treats, which would be an infraction of the rules. A good grandparent realizes things have changed since they had children and is willing to comply with new guidelines pertaining to many safety issues such as car seats and infant sleeping positions. If in doubt, ask the parents of your grandchildren.

2. Boundaries

Good grandparents respect boundaries. Some of this is basic common sense. Don’t steal any of the “firsts,” like first steps, first movie, first haircut. Social media has become a significant issue for grandparents and adult children. Never post anything about your grandchildren without parental agreement. This is their child, not yours, so they get to call the shots. Boundaries are also closely tied in with following the parents’ rules, but it’s OK and normal for grandparents to have their own boundaries.

3. Positive feedback

Tell the parents what a great job they’re doing! I don’t have to fake it because sometimes I’m in awe of how well my daughter handles tough conversations with her kids. Every parent appreciates hearing that they are doing a great job! On the opposite end of the spectrum is a strong recommendation not to offer unsolicited advice, which can feel like criticism.

4. Show up

Be there for your grandchildren as much as possible. Go to their games, recitals, and school events. If you’re long-distance, call and ask about their games, school, friends, and events. Showing an interest in your grandchildren’s lives makes them feel recognized and loved. Be their biggest fan.

5. Assistance

Helping the parents of your grandchildren is beneficial to the entire family. Whether it’s occasionally picking kids up from school, driving them to extracurricular activities, or providing some childcare, a grandparent’s help is usually appreciated. It’s common for grandparents to also provide financial assistance when needed.

6. Family traditions

Grandparents often set the stage for continuing family traditions and creating new ones. If you’re fortunate enough to live close, family dinners are a good time to connect. Spending time together provides a sense of belonging and stability for children.

7. Favorites

Good grandparents are cautious not to show favoritism to one grandchild over another. This can be tricky, especially if you have many grandkids, but it’s essential to be fair with your attention, time, and gifts. If you can make every grandchild feel like a favorite, you’ve succeeded.

8. Listen

One of the advantages grandparents have is the ability to slow down and spend time listening to, not just hearing, their grandchildren. Children have so much to say, and they respond enthusiastically when an adult they love actively listens and responds to what they say. If you listen to the small things, they will be much more likely to talk to you about the big things.

9. Fun

In an optimal circumstance, grandparents get to have all the fun without all the responsibility. Having fun with the grandkids is a benefit to the grandparents as well as the grandchildren. It allows the grandparents to revisit the past and indulge in play.

10. Unconditional Love

This is the easy part. Grandparents supply unconditional love for their grandchildren. Tell them often how much you love them and also show it by being happy to see them and setting aside time to spend with them.

Being a grandparent is one of the greatest roles in life, a reward for growing older. The love between grandparents and grandchildren is deep and lasting, even after the grandparents are gone. One of the saddest parts of being a grandparent is knowing we most likely are not going to be around for most of our grandchildren’s lives. The hope is that the effects of our relationship will be felt long after our deaths. They may not remember everything we did or said, but they will always remember the feelings we instilled. It’s impossible to be a perfect grandparent, but many ways to be a good grandparent.