Pam Nelson: From Trauma to Transformation

In honor of Mental Health Awareness Month, we’re visiting with Pam Nelson, licensed mental health therapist, trauma-informed yoga therapist, and founder of Therapeutic Yoga Services. Pam’s journey took a powerful turn while working as a child therapist when she realized that true healing for children often begins with their parents. By helping adults confront and heal their own childhood trauma, Pam empowers them to break generational cycles and raise their children with greater awareness, compassion and peace. Pam shares how trauma can silently shape our lives—and how healing can transform our mental health. She also offers expert tips and practical tools for finding calm, clarity and connection through mind-body practices.

TK: Tell us a little about yourself and what interested you in pursuing a career as a child therapist?

Pam: My first job in the mental health field was after I graduated with my bachelor’s degree in psychology. I worked in an emergency shelter for children—kids who were removed from their homes due to abuse or neglect and had no place to go. I immediately saw how these kids were in pure survival mode. They were often terrified, lashing out to protect themselves, or completely shut down and emotionally numb.

I tried to run skill-building groups at the shelter in attempt to help them but quickly realized that I was just putting a band-aid on their struggles. I decided I wanted to go deeper and learn more so I could truly help them heal and create change in their lives, so I went back to school to become a mental health therapist.

TK: What was your ah-ha moment of realizing that you needed to work with parents as opposed to children?

Pam: I worked in children’s mental health for 16 years in various settings. It was community mental health, which means I often served people in extreme poverty. Therapy was often pushed upon the families by the schools or the courts due to behavior problems—not the parents seeking out services for the kids—so parents often signed the paperwork allowing me to have therapy sessions with their kids but would ignore my calls and refuse family therapy.

This was usually because they were in survival mode, too. They had experienced so much trauma that they had zero capacity to take on anything but focusing on attempting to live—even attending a therapy session with their child. They were also afraid they would be shamed, or their own trauma would be triggered, so most avoided me at all costs.

I did the very best I could with the kids, but it felt like I was just planting seeds that may not grow for 10 or more years because they were stuck in their situations with no control. I realized I needed to help the parents heal from trauma, then this would trickle down to the children.

TK: Share more about your specialization of trauma therapy.

Pam: I specialize in helping adult survivors of childhood trauma who currently struggle with anxiety. I utilize therapeutic modalities such as EMDR, a method that helps desensitize your traumatic memories, so you have less intrusive thoughts, flashbacks and panic surrounding them.

I combine this with Somatic Parts Work, which can also be thought of as “Inner Child Reparenting.” This helps identify why you react to certain people or situations, understand why it is so hard to change certain behaviors, etc. It is often because there are wounded, protective parts of you who learned how to survive scary situations in childhood. I guide people in befriending these wounded parts and giving them the love they have always deserved so they can finally be at peace.

Lastly, I utilize Trauma-Informed Yoga Therapy to help you “rewire” your mind, body and spirit to get out of survival mode and finally learn to access states of peace.

TK: What is “childhood trauma”?

Pam: Trauma is any experience that exceeds your capacity to cope—experiencing something that is too big, too fast, too soon, too hurtful or too little (not getting enough of what you need) for too long.

TK: How do you determine if someone has experienced childhood trauma?

Pam: When people hear the word, “trauma,” they often think of horrific events like abuse, death and violence. These are definitely traumatic, but it also can be things such as being exposed to situations or people before you were developmentally ready, being expected to take on roles you didn’t have the capacity for (such as being a physical or emotional caregiver to your siblings or parents), having unrealistic pressures or expectations placed upon you, or even not having emotional support in childhood and having to navigate the world feeling very alone.

TK: How does childhood trauma show up in adulthood?

Pam: First—nervous system dysregulation. This means that after years of being in survival mode, your brain is wired to stay on high alert (anxious, irritable, panicky, waiting for the next bad thing to happen, constantly worrying) or shutdown (emotionally numb, foggy headed, disconnected). Your mind/body learned to do this to protect you—to fight, run, or stay small and quiet to protect yourself from the scary situations you endured. Sometimes you also feel frozen, like your mind is racing but you can’t seem to do anything to help yourself.

Childhood trauma survivors also often struggle in relationships because they have never been taught healthy conflict resolution or boundary setting. They have great difficulty defining who they really are—what they want or don’t want out of life—because they had to spend so much energy making sure they were pleasing others growing up so they could stay emotionally or physically safe.

TK: How can someone “reparent” themselves and start the healing process?

Pam: Learning to access a ventral vagal (calm, confident, safe) state in your mind and body is a vital first step. You cannot learn new information or skills when you are in survival mode. I developed the Release, Relax, Redirect Method © to help people with this. It helps you release anxious energy through movement, activate your relaxation response through breathwork, and redirect you to the present moment where right here, right now, you are secure. Safety and security are the first things you were supposed to feel as a child. If this was not true for you, you can create it within your own mind, body and spirit now.

TK: What are some tips for others to implement today?

Pam: Start small and simple. Ask yourself the following three things multiple times throughout your day: 1. Do I need to go to the bathroom? 2. Am I hungry or need something to drink? 3. Do I need rest or comfort? This may sound trite, but this is what a loving, safe parent would immediately do for an infant.

Ask yourself—how many times do I ignore these basic needs? When you do so, you are unconsciously reenacting your childhood trauma. Instead of ignoring them, place your hand on your heart and say to yourself, “Don’t worry, I will take care of you,” and respond immediately.

TK: How will healing help with mental health?

Pam: To me, “healing” is learning to bring yourself back to a peaceful state when you get activated, learning to trust yourself, and having a deep understanding and admiration for all parts of you. When this happens, we seek out friends, relationships, jobs, etc., that reflect back to us what we already feel within ourselves. We start finding ourselves surrounded by people and situations that help us feel safe and authentic.

TK: As a wrap-up, what else would you like to mention?

Pam: It is very important to me to offer services that are accessible to ALL people. I understand that not everyone can afford intensive individual therapy, so I created a trauma-informed yoga video website, yoga classes, group therapy, and online self-studies that start at $35 per month. If people don’t have money to budget right now, they can follow me on Instagram at @yoga.for.anxiety for tips and inspiration. All people deserve to feel safe and joyful.

Listen to the full interview to learn more about Pam and what she’s doing to Thrive in 2025 on the Sharing Passion and Purpose Podcast on your favorite podcasting platform or: SharingPassionandPurpose.com/podcast/pamnelson. You can connect with Pam on online: Instagram: @yoga.for.anxiety; PamNelsonTherapy.com

Nancy A. Moore is a Public Relations Coordinator at Montreau, Adjunct Professor at Tulsa Community College, and has been writing for TulsaKids for almost 20 years.