An Old-Fashioned Valentine: Journaling with Your Partner

February is a good time to celebrate our love for healthy relationships. Fostering a healthy relationship can be challenging with life’s demands, but it’s important to take time to prioritize your relationship. One local mom is making it easier through a couple’s journal that she created. Casie Brim is the author of Your Turn: A Journal to Create with Your Beloved. In addition to being an author, Casie is a trauma nurse.

It was through her own relationship that she discovered the importance of creating meaningful dialogue in a journal format. Her couple’s journal is full of prompts that are sure to inspire deeper connections between couples.  Whether you are dating and want to explore meaningful connections or are married and want an activity to express your love, this journal is an excellent resource.

Photo found at https://www.amazon.com/Your-Turn-Journal-Create-Beloved/dp/B0DJ77HYMR/

TK: Tell us a little about you and your family.

Casie:  I was raised in Broken Arrow, and my husband, Nick, is from Bartlesville. We have been together for 21 years and married for 17.  We have three incredible daughters who are 12, 9 and 6 years old. We live in Jenks with our dogs, cats and chickens.

TK: Tell us where the idea came about to publish a couple’s journal.

Casie: I have always loved to read and write.  My mother was a schoolteacher, so I was raised to love books. Reading was an integral part of my life.  We always participated in the Tulsa Library’s summer reading program. This is a tradition I have carried on with my children.

The journal idea came together after a sequence of events. My hospital, Ascension St. John, experienced a cyber-attack in May 2024. During that time the entire hospital was forced to return to paper while it was being fixed. It was one of those defining moments that made me realize I may be begrudgingly placed in a collective considered middle aged. I was one of the few remaining staff members who knew how to paper chart.  All the things I learned in nursing school and during my work orientation had to be passed down to extremely competent employees who have never experienced that workflow. It was an interesting experience for all involved.

Additionally, one of my fellow nurse practitioners commented that my husband and I talk on the phone more than anyone she knows after we had our mid-morning check-in call with each other. She is 11 years my junior, and I asked how she checks in with her husband during the day. She replied, “texting and snaps.” I told her hearing each other’s voices offers so much more meaning and avoids miscommunications.

I then, once again, had the privilege of feeling like a historic relic explaining that when I started my career, carrying a personal cell phone was strictly against the rules. Messages were left by calling the front desk and passed along in writing. That alone is a bizarre concept now that we have smartphones, and I can’t do my job without it.

I then began to realize how much dating has changed for my younger friends and family.  Social media and dating apps have been wonderful to help people connect that may never have in the past. The downside, from my understanding, is there may be the lack of a true connection with people. Or it is sometimes hard to progress into something meaningful when there are so many options. In the end, they seemed to message lots of people but not progress to the real relationships they were hoping for.

The journal notes between us helped my husband and I really feel connected to each other and to discuss things that may have felt uncomfortable in person. By the time we were going through premarital counseling through our church, our priest teased us that we must have cheated because the answers on our intake quiz were practically identical.

So, I am hoping that others will find the journaling activity as enjoyable and beneficial as my husband and I did.

TK: What is the story behind the title?

Casie: When my husband and I were dating, we would write notes to each other in a small notebook and then hide the notebook for each other in random places. I loved that notebook and the thrill I would get when I found it.  There were times that when the notebook was hidden, we would forget whose turn it was to write versus find the book and we would always say “Your turn” as a reminder.

TK: What are a few journal prompt questions?

Casie: Questions cover a variety of wide topics and are designed to be thoughtful and emotionally provoking.  There are also some great questions to stimulate reminiscing about your childhood, who you were during your teenage years, and moments during the beginning of your relationship.

A few examples include:

• What did you think about me when you spoke to me in person for the first time?
• If there was one thing you could change about the current political climate, what would it be and how would you propose change?
• If money was no object and we had one week, describe the perfect vacation for the two of us.
• When can you tell I am experiencing stress and what do you do to help relieve it?

TK: What are you hoping to inspire with this journal?

Casie: I am hoping to inspire conversations for couples to either create or strengthen their relationships. I’m surprised how often I see couples who are constantly distracted from each other with technology.  I have also seen many young couples struggle with the distraction of social media. I’m hoping that this “old-fashioned” activity helps others re-focus or remain focused on what is real and lasting, which is the relationship you share with your loved one.

TK: Tell us how your kids were involved in the project.

Casie: Getting my daughters involved was something I never anticipated at the start, but it has been a complete joy.  They all have creative and artistic talents that they inherited from their father. During my research of computer programs that other authors used for cover art, my oldest daughter told me she knew how to use one of the programs. I told her my vision, and she did a few mockups. I selected my favorite, and we did the finishing touches together. She was my personal graphic designer!

They also helped me write a few of the questions, and now my middle daughter has started writing her own novel.  It has been fun to show them ways in which their creativity can be shared.

TK: Who encouraged you to write and publish the journal?

Casie: I have an incredible support system in my life. Any time I pitch an idea to my husband, his universal response is, “Do it!”  That is priceless. I also have friendships with girls I have known for years, before smartphones, that are the perfect combination of being completely supportive, yet honest. These best friends and I get together at the beginning of the year and make vision boards for what we hope to accomplish for that year. Goals range from wanting to rearrange a personal space, to vacations, to physical and financial goals, and, most importantly, dreams.

I have had the goal to write a novel on my vision board for years, including 2024’s board. Alas, the demands of being a working mom have kept me from completing my novel. Around July, when we got together again to check in with our goals, I knew that finishing a novel wouldn’t be possible this year despite starting one. When I shared my journal idea, my friends encouraged me to take on the project. I also wanted to learn the process of self-publishing. I started with writing questions in my phone’s notes app in my spare time. Slowly and surely, it came together as a finished project.

TK: How do you set yourself up for success? Do you have a daily routine?

Casie: Yes!  I love routines and checklists. Another goal for my vision boards was to write reasonable daily goals. This is still a work-in-progress as I currently try to fit too much into a single day.

TK: Did you have personal doubts/struggles in publishing your own book?

Casie: I have never shared my writing on such a large scale before.  Any time I have shared in the past, it was either for the intended recipient or a writing contest and I was anonymous. It is an extremely vulnerable feeling to put it out there for all to see and judge. So far, it’s been well received!

To listen to the full interview, including a little about her career as a trauma nurse as well as how she is thriving in 2025, check out the Sharing Passion and Purpose Podcast on your favorite podcasting platform or directly at: SharingPassionandPurpose.com.

You can find Casie’s Journal on Amazon: Your Turn: A Journal To Create with Your Beloved

Nancy A. Moore is a Public Relations Coordinator at Montreau, Adjunct Professor at Tulsa Community College, and has been writing for TulsaKids for almost 20 years.