Back-to-School Butterflies: They’re Not Just for Kids

Every August Checklist:

Backpacks bought, check.

School supplies bought, check.

School clothes bought, check.

Sanity and bank account near zero, check.

Parents everywhere ask the same question: Are we ready for this? This year feels especially big in our house.

My son, Atticus, is 16 and just started at Broken Arrow High School. He’s thrilled about being a Tiger because his friends Jordan and Caden are already there. Walking into a brand-new school feels a whole lot easier when you know you’ll see a couple familiar faces.

My daughter, Angel, now 12, just started middle school. She’s excited and nervous all at once. She was glad knowing she’d see her friends Izzy and Zoe, but going from a smaller school to a huge middle school is still a lot to take in. She’ll see plenty of familiar faces — and lots and lots of new ones.

First impressions of Broken Arrow High School, for both Atticus and me, were very impressive. The school is ginormous. With more than 4,800 students, it feels more like a college campus than a high school. And right next to the main entrance is Broken Arrow Tiger Stadium, which makes that first drive onto campus feel even bigger. We can’t wait to experience the Friday Night Lights when the Tigers take on Springdale Har-Ber.

But as impressive as the campus is, the people made an even bigger impression. Since Atticus transferred from East Central High School, high school counselor Kimberly Curl had to go over his transcript before putting his schedule together. She helped Atticus and me get everything squared away on day one and made a very big school feel a lot more welcoming.

Then there’s Broken Arrow High School Principal Christy Smith. During the first week of classes, she was outside in the parking lot every morning as parents drove in, waving, jumping up and down and bringing some serious hype. I’m pretty sure I even saw some air guitar. When I pulled up in front of her, I threw her the rock horns — as I tend to do — and she gave me the double rock horns right back. At that moment, I knew we were at the right school. Atticus later told me he thought his new principal was cool. Coming from a teenager, that’s about as strong an endorsement as you can get.

Normally, this is where I’d have pictures of my kids on their first day of school. But I could read the room.

Stopping a 12-year-old or a 16-year-old on the front lawn for Dad to take a first-day picture could have definitely put a damper on things. Sometimes parenting a preteen and teenager means knowing when to put the camera away.

Watching my kids make these transitions takes me back to when my twin sister Lynda and I went from Northview Elementary to Glenwood Junior High in Findlay, Ohio. That place seemed enormous to us. New teachers, new classmates, new routines — and then there was the pizza.

Glenwood served these rectangle-shaped pizzas. I always thought that was strange because pizza is usually round and cut into wedges. They were more like little Totino’s-style frozen pizzas, but man, they were good. Whenever it was pizza day at Glenwood Junior High, it was gonna be a good day.

I was also very fortunate because from kindergarten through 12th grade, I always had Lynda to lean on, and she always had me. Not every kid has a twin walking into a new school beside them, but the anxiety we all feel during those transitions is part of coming of age. Being nervous doesn’t mean something is wrong. Sometimes it just means you’re growing. And as much as this is a coming-of-age story for my kids, it’s one for me, too and I’m 61 years old! I’ve enrolled myself in school and college, but I had never been the parent enrolling a child in high school.

Atticus and I are hitting milestones side by side.

One of my inspirations for continuing to learn is Neil Peart, the late drummer for Rush. He was considered by many to be one of the greatest rock drummers of all time. He had the accolades, the millions of records sold and packed concerts — and then he decided to take drum lessons. Think about that. One of the greatest drummers in the world took lessons because he still wanted to get better. And wasn’t afraid to ask someone for guidance.

That’s how I want to live: keep learning, keep growing, make myself a better dad and a better person, inspire my kids — and hopefully inspire you, the reader, too.

So, younger parents, when that giant wave of anxiety hits, remember this: the wave will smooth out. There is calmer water ahead. Give your kids some grace, and give yourself some, too. The growing doesn’t stop when we become adults.

We just change classrooms.

Get ready. Next blog: ROCKLAHOMA! \m/