Outnumbered: Adventures Out with Multiple Children

Before having two children aged 2 and younger, I was already an expert. I had spent years in the classroom teaching twelve 1-year-old children and, while I’d relied on help from my co-teachers, I felt surely, with all of my wisdom and experience, I could handle my toddler and her baby sister effortlessly (or at least appear to). Spoiler alert: That’s not how this one ends.

While bringing another child into the equation does not shock the system as much as the transition from no kids to one kid, nothing can quite prepare you for certain moments when you find yourself outnumbered and on the spot. Suddenly you are the only adult present, and situations call for swift action. For me, there is one moment I recall with particular intensity.

It was a weekday like any other. We finished our breakfast, which consisted of one huge bowl of oatmeal or yogurt that my 2-year-old and 6-month-old would split with me. Bellies full and dressed for the day, we gathered up our gumption and opted to visit the library. This was a special treat for my oldest since we had been home quite a bit while we worked on potty learning. I also craved an outing, as my only companion for the past few days had been Daniel Tiger’s Neighborhood denizen Prince Wednesday, who was also mastering his sphincters. I longed to be away from the jaunty little tune, “If you have to go potty, stop and go right away!”

I threw a change of clothes, some clean rubber underpants (if you know, you know) and an overly optimistic quantity of baby wipes into a small tote and hit the door. Once at the library, I loaded the baby into a small stroller and slid the potty troubleshooting kit over my arm, leaving my actual diaper bag in the car. Why would I need that? Everyone was cleaned up before we left the house, after all. And I was an expert. Been there, done that, got the burp rag.

You can imagine my chagrin when, after I got the girls settled in the children’s area, that I realized I needed to follow Prince Wednesday’s musical advice. Gathering the little people, I got situated in the world’s tiniest stall and spent several minutes trying to persuade my daughter to try to potty once I was done. She declined, and I knew it was pointless to argue, so we moved on to the sinks.

Mid debate about the merits of hand hygiene with my 2-year-old, who touched every surface possible as a matter of deep personal conviction, the baby made a noise one cannot misconstrue. It was time to change her diaper. I set her on the table, removed the soiled diaper and sparingly used the few wipes I’d brought. Feeling a small sense of achievement at my wet-wipe economy, I reached into my bag for a diaper, only realizing then that I’d not packed any for either child. Oh no. Checking in my purse for my emergency backup diaper, I remembered that I’d used that the day before. I’d already tossed her previous one and realized I had no choice but to improvise a bottom-covering for my little one with only the materials on hand.

I allowed myself one more moment of internal screaming before I took a deep breath and channeled my MacGyver abilities. In the end, while I verbally calmed a confused infant and fielded endless, bizarre questions from the toddler, I used a postpartum pad stuck inside a pair of tiny training underwear, covered with a pair of rubber underpants. I still recall the feel of the changing table, the sound of the hand dryer that my toddler kept setting off and the feeling deep within my soul that, in this moment, I am the only person who can handle what is happening, that these little darling (if inconvenient) children are relying on me.

I was not an expert, nor was I prepared for every eventuality that came my way as a parent to two very young children. But over time, I began to trust my gut (Pack an actual diaper bag, Alicia) and found systems to help me plan for most situations. If you’re about to embark on the fabulous and chaotic journey that is wrangling multiple young children solo, here are some systems and ideas that helped me.

Squirrel Away the Goods

In your car, stash away a few extra diapers, wipes, changes of clothes, plastic trash bags and jackets. You’d be surprised at the number of times they come in handy. Check your sizes now and then so you can size up the diapers and clothes to suit growing bodies. One tote bag, tucked under my seat, served this purpose for many years and saved my bacon over and over again.

Hanger is the Enemy of Us All

With little people come big feelings. Small stomachs (and the larger ones belonging to their caregivers) go from full to bursting to empty within a heartbeat. Frankly, it’s difficult to think of a situation that a snack did not help. Carry a few nibbles with you, along with bottles for babies and water cups for toddlers.

Keep Calm and Carry On

Most of the time, even when odd or aggravating situations come along, no one is truly at great risk. Take a deep breath, look to the little faces that will no doubt be looking to you for guidance and lead the way with confidence. If not always possible in the moment, you can often find humor in your circumstances and get a good laugh.

Ask for Help

If you’re struggling with navigating an issue (like loading up a rowdy preschooler while juggling a little baby or keeping walkers near you in crowded areas), ask a friend how they handle it. Invite your partner or a friend to come along with you, if possible, to alleviate some of the stress. And if you’re just not feeling up to task on a particular day, it’s perfectly reasonable to stay home and keep it simple.

When you prepare for a few needs, give yourself grace to mess up or call it quits and recruit the wisdom, experience and support of others. You’ll find that being outnumbered most often leads to a special sweetness both in your memory and in those of your children. Trust me. I’m an expert.

Alicia Kobilnyk is an Early Childhood Educator who works with young toddlers. She finds joy and inspiration to write in their cheeky shenanigans, as well as those of her three daughters.