What is My Purpose as an Older Woman?

I adore my grandchildren—let’s get that straight up front. If you check my Facebook posts or read my weekly blog, you’ll have no doubt I’m crazy about my grandchildren. However, as much as I love them, I do not want to provide full-time childcare. My grandchildren are a huge part of my world, but I don’t believe that they’re my only purpose as an older woman.

Older Women in the Workforce

Most women between the ages of fifty and sixty-five are still employed, at least part-time, making it impossible for them to provide childcare for their grandchildren. Working is an economic necessity for many and a personal choice for others. In the 65 and older age group, about 19% of people are still working. That’s almost double the percentage of people over 65 who worked 35 years ago.

Consequences of Caretaking Roles

Some women do serve as childcare providers or babysitters for their grandchildren. Recent data shows that about 22% of grandmothers provide some form of childcare for their grandchildren. This saves the parents money on childcare costs and can be a bonding experience for grandparents and grandchildren. I cared for my first grandchild three days a week for the first fifteen months of his life. It was a valuable experience, but it became more difficult for me as he became more mobile. Fortunately, our family had other options, but I know not everyone does.

All too often, women find themselves in the role of raising their grandchildren. 1.32 million women were raising at least one grandchild in 2021. Forty-six percent of grandmothers raising grandchildren were still employed, and about 22% were living in poverty. This is not even considering the eldercare they also provide, often caring for parents and grandchildren at the same time. A lifetime of unpaid caregiving, almost always done by women, rarely men, leads to lower life earnings. Women still make less than men, carry most of the emotional load for families, spend more hours in housework and caregiving, and are more likely to live in poverty. Inequalities are real, and no, not everyone has the same access to “The American Dream.”

More than a Mother/Grandmother

I’m aware that my ability to make choices is a privilege. My positions as mother, wife, and grandmother will always come first, but the roles of mom and grandmom don’t tell my entire story. I also choose to be a community volunteer, an athlete, a good friend and neighbor, a writer, and an advocate for disability rights.

I retired early when the position I held at work ceased to exist. My husband was worried I would be bored or lost without direction and a schedule. Because I had always worked, he was concerned I would drift and be restless. His fears were never realized. There is so much to do in the world and, more importantly, right here in our community.

What About Men?

Older men are not seen as relevant only in their role as fathers and grandfathers. Men over fifty are still seen as vibrant and relevant members of the workforce and community. Why are women “of a certain age” so often deemed as valuable only in terms of caregiving? Taking care of others is important work, but it shouldn’t be a job assignment based on gender. Males can do caregiving, yet it almost always falls onto the females in a family. It isn’t a coincidence that so many women report feeling invisible and irrelevant as they age.

Despite my age, or maybe because of my age and life experiences, I believe I still have time and gifts to give back to the community to make it a stronger, better place. No matter what I choose to do with my post-employment phase of life, it will be what I choose, not what society tells me I should be doing. My purpose is to be there for my family but also to be there for myself and live my life to the fullest as long as I possibly can. Being a woman should not be the only factor that determines my purpose. I know it sounds far-fetched and crazy, but I believe women should have the same rights, choices, and opportunities as men.