Understanding Pediatric ADHD

What parents need to know

As a former early childhood teacher and a marriage and family therapy candidate, I’ve spent years navigating pediatric ADHD—both professionally and personally. That dual perspective has taught me an important truth: ADHD isn’t just a diagnosis on paper—it’s something families navigate every day.

ADHD Is Not a Sign of Laziness or Bad Parenting

ADHD is a neurodevelopmental disorder recognized in the DSM-5 (Diagnostic and Statistical Manual of Mental Disorders). It affects a child’s ability to regulate focus, activity level, impulse control and emotional responses. Children with ADHD often want to do well and care deeply about meeting expectations—their brains simply process information and stimulation differently.

ADHD can affect focus, working memory, emotional regulation and impulse control. Fortunately, effective supports are available, including medication, behavioral therapy and parent training programs designed to help children succeed at home and in school. With the right combination of support, children with ADHD can absolutely thrive.

The Three Types of ADHD

ADHD can present in three primary ways:

• Predominantly inattentive
• Predominantly hyperactive-impulsive
• Combined presentation

When most people picture ADHD, they often imagine a child who is constantly moving, interrupting or unable to stay seated. While that presentation does exist, it is far from the whole picture.

In some children, symptoms appear in quieter, more subtle ways. Challenges may include difficulty sustaining attention, following multistep tasks or completing activities without becoming distracted. A child might turn on the sink, become distracted and return to a flooded kitchen floor—not out of carelessness, but because their brain struggled to maintain focus long enough to finish the task.

Young children with ADHD may also experience intense emotions, frustration and difficulty calming themselves when overwhelmed.

ADHD Can Look Different in Boys and Girls

ADHD can present differently depending on gender, which can lead to delayed or missed diagnoses—particularly for girls. As a therapist, I often have referrals for potential ADHD symptoms in children, with boys referred at a much higher rate than girls, often because they display more visible hyperactivity or impulsive behavior.

Girls, on the other hand, are more likely to show inattentive symptoms. They may be labeled as “daydreamers,” “disorganized” or “unmotivated,” rather than being recognized as struggling neurologically. Girls with ADHD are also more likely to experience co-occurring anxiety, quietly working overtime to keep up while feeling overwhelmed internally.

Neither presentation is more valid than the other—both deserve understanding, accurate diagnosis and appropriate support.

It’s About Regulating Focus—Not a Lack of Focus

A common misconception is that children with ADHD cannot focus at all. In reality, ADHD is best understood as difficulty regulating and directing attention. Many children with ADHD can focus intensely—sometimes referred to as “hyperfocus”—on activities they find engaging or rewarding.

Challenges often arise during transitions. Shifting from a preferred activity to something less enjoyable, like homework, chores or bedtime, can trigger frustration, resistance or emotional dysregulation. What may look like defiance is often a nervous system struggling to shift gears.

How Can Parents Help?

ADHD can impact a child academically, socially and within family dynamics. The good news is that there is no one-size-fits-all solution. Support can—and should—be tailored to each child’s unique needs.

• Behavioral therapy: Helps children build coping strategies, emotional regulation skills and problem-solving tools. Rather than “fixing” behavior, therapy focuses on skill-building—an approach that can be empowering for children who frequently feel misunderstood or criticized.
• Medication: Both stimulant and non-stimulant options may support focus, impulse control and emotional regulation. Medication does not change who a child is and often works best when paired with behavioral supports.
• Parent education and training: ADHD-informed parenting emphasizes predictable routines, clear expectations and supportive structures at home. These tools reduce power struggles, increase emotional safety and support a child’s developing executive functioning skills.
• School-based support: Evaluations for a 504 Plan or Individualized Education Program (IEP) can provide accommodations such as extended time, movement breaks or organizational support—tools that allow children with ADHD to demonstrate what they truly know. Pediatricians, therapists and school professionals can help families understand and advocate for these resources.

Consistency Matters More Than Perfection

Perhaps the most important takeaway for parents is this: Consistency matters more than doing everything perfectly. Children with ADHD benefit from predictable routines, clear communication and caregivers who understand that behavior is often communication.

Supporting a child with ADHD requires patience, advocacy and flexibility. It also requires compassion—for your child and for yourself. When children feel supported rather than shamed, they are far more likely to build confidence and resilience.

With the right tools, education and support, children with ADHD can grow into capable, creative and successful adults. ADHD is not a limitation—it is a difference that deserves understanding, structure and care.

ADHD: Key Points for Parents

• ADHD isn’t about effort or motivation—it’s about how the brain processes information.
• Symptoms can look very different from one child to another.
• Many children with ADHD can focus deeply, but transitions are often the hardest part.
• Consistent routines help more than getting everything “right.”

Brandy Browne has 14 years of experience as an elementary and early childhood educator and is currently practicing as an LMFT-C (licensed marriage and family therapist candidate) in Oklahoma.