Tooth Fairies, Grandparents, and Staying in Your Lane

Six-year-old Callister shows up at my house every Saturday evening with his little sister, a toothbrush, and his favorite stuffed animals. Tradition demands that we order Hideaway Pizza, watch a Disney movie, and they spend the night. This past Saturday night, Callister showed up with something extra – the two teeth he had just lost! His parents asked me if the tooth fairy could visit my house, and I enthusiastically agreed.

It had been almost thirty years since a tooth fairy had been at my house, but I was excited for a reunion with the magical little sprite. After checking with my daughter about what the tooth fairy typically left at their house, I was all in. I believe that it’s imperative that I “stay in my lane” and respect the parents’ wishes. If my tooth fairy leaves a twenty dollar bill for a tooth, it will be rough the next time she leaves a quarter at their house. I don’t want to be one of “those” Boomer grandparents.

Being on the same page about the tooth fairy may seem trivial, but it represents respect for the parents’ authority. Since we moved so close, it’s even more essential to have mutual respect and boundaries. I’m grateful for the leeway my daughter and son-in-law give us with the grandkids, allowing us to break a few minor rules when they stay with us. I never want to do anything to lose that trust and, with it, the special privileges we enjoy as grandparents.

Last weekend’s tooth fairy re-enactment reminded me of the saying currently making the social media rounds. There is usually a video of grandparents with young children and some sentimental music playing as these words come on the screen, “There’s a common misperception that your parents love their grandchildren more than they love you when, really, it’s because you produced something that reminds them every day of you as a child, and it’s like loving them twice.”

I can’t argue with that sentiment, but I don’t think a grandparents’ love for their grandchildren is that simple. I don’t love my grandchildren more than I love my children, but I do love them in a different way. Loving my grandchildren is like eating my dessert without having to eat the vegetables first. As a grandmother, I have all the fun without the responsibility. I don’t have the burden of making crucial decisions or worrying about their future. I live in the moment with them, reveling in the pure joy of who they are. Every time I see them, I enthusiastically greet them with open arms, saying, “There they are, the most perfect children in the world!” And I sincerely mean it! It’s a strange coincidence that all grandparents seem to have the most perfect children in the world as grandchildren!

My six-year-old grandson replies, “Oh, Grandmom, all grandparents say that to their grandkids!” He says that, but I see the smile on his face and the light in his eyes, and I suspect he relishes hearing my over-the-top proclamations of love. Who doesn’t want to be adored like that?

The tooth fairy did make a visit to my house Saturday night. When my grandson woke up Sunday morning, he excitedly ran to the dresser where he had left his teeth in a little envelope. When Callister saw that she had left him a note and a dollar for each tooth, he was surprised and happy. Then he slyly looked at me and said, “So, are all the tooth fairies actually grandmothers?” I’ll stay in my lane and let his parents answer that question!