Sugar and Spice and Everything Nice – That’s What Granddaughters are Made of!

Today in the car, my granddaughter said, “Grandmom, if I had a fairy Godmother, I’d ask for you to live as long as I do.” Then she got a little choked up and teary-eyed. I assured her that even after I’m gone, I’ll be in her heart forever. That’s probably a bit abstract for a four-year-old to grasp, but what would you have said to that sweet but painful wish? My granddaughter is sugar and spice and everything nice, but also much more.

Bonding and the pandemic

Sylvia was a pandemic baby, which made bonding different from how it had been with her older brother. For the first year of her life, she stayed home. Our visits were conducted with us wearing masks and, whenever possible, outside. We did our best to maintain as much normalcy as possible, but it was a challenging time. I worried we weren’t as bonded as we could be.

Fortunately, we got through that stage and began to spend more time together, but a second grandchild is different than the first. Her older brother had received our undivided attention for the three years until his sister was born. We took him on outings from the time he was about three months, and he began occasionally spending the night with us when he was six months old. The pandemic stalled some of our interactions and outings with Sylvia. She also didn’t receive the undivided focus that her brother had enjoyed. The second grandchild usually has to share the spotlight with their sibling, but we try to have a special one-on-one time with each child.

The real turning point was when we moved within walking distance of our grandkids, which enables us to see them almost every day. Being in close proximity and seeing them so often has cemented our relationships. She loves spending time at my house, and I love being with her. We play games, do arts and crafts, conduct science experiments, and pretend to be mermaids in the pool. I would say Sylvia and I are now bonded together by emotional superglue!

A soft place to land

As sweet as she is, Sylvia is also smart, strong, kind, and brave. As pretty as she is, I choose to focus on the fact that she is also loving, clever, generous, and powerful. Being a “woman in training” requires so much more than being sweet and pretty. I had hoped life as a female would be easier by now, but women still fight the more difficult battles. Solely because she’s a female, Sylvia may have to fight harder and be more persistent than her brother to achieve the same benefits in life. I pray she will always know her worth, assert her voice, and not be afraid to show her strength. One of her current favorite sayings is, “Girls never give up.” I hope she holds onto that thought!

My role is not to toughen my granddaughter up for the real world, but to be her soft place to land. If we’re fortunate, grandparents are in the enviable position of being the people children can come to for unconditional love, positive feedback, encouragement, and only the most basic of rules. Although I never break the rules the parents set, I’m fortunate that they trust me and allow me to indulge the grandkids a little.

I used to worry that my granddaughter and I wouldn’t be as close as I am with my grandson, but that has not turned out to be true. We’re tight. Every time I leave her, I remind her that I love her big, big, big and blow her a kiss as they drive away. Last night, Sylvia told her mom, “I feel like I belong at Grandmom’s house. I think Grandmom is the nicest person I’ve ever met.” That made me feel wonderful, but I won’t let it go to my head. Not to be too humble, but we must remember that she is only four, so she hasn’t met many people yet. However, I’ll take it as a sign I’m doing something right with my granddaughter!

A new era

As Sylvia prepares to begin “big kids” school in a few weeks, I’ll simultaneously miss the preschool stage and look forward to seeing her grow and learn. I hope she always remembers who she is and where she’s going in this world. I can’t wait to see the person she becomes. I feel a little nostalgic as she enters a new era of education and life, but mostly I’m excited for her. She’s ready for new challenges, and if she has a few rough spots along the way, I’ll be there to listen, love, and be her soft place to land.

Granddaughters are sugar and spice and everything nice, but they’re also smart, loving, kind, and brave. I’m so happy I get to be Sylvia’s grandmother!