Marking the End of Summer with a “Yes” Day!

School starts in less than two weeks, and I’m feeling the rush to pack everything into this little amount of time left! I had been planning to do a “Yes” day with my grandkids since the last day of school in May, but somehow, these last few months have flown by. Facing the beginning of a new school year, I knew it had to be now.

The concept of a “Yes” day is simple. The child gets to make the decisions all day, within reason. We’re not hopping on a plane and flying to Paris for dinner or buying them a new car. There are some common sense guidelines. Every family is going to have different rules, limitations, and restrictions. Here are some points I considered.

Budget

With older kids, give them a budget for the day so they can make decisions based on what they can afford. This can be a good lesson in planning and budgeting. Many fun activities are free or have minimal costs.

Rules

Let your kids know ahead of time which rules are non-negotiable, even on a “Yes” day. Anything involving safety, such as car seats or pool supervision, is not up for debate. As a grandparent, it’s important that I respect the parents’ rules. I know they are okay if I bend some rules, such as bedtime and a little junk food.

Hours

I don’t recommend 24 hours. Communicate the time frame ahead of the day. Eight hours seems a reasonable limit.

Activities

Some kids might need suggestions, and others, like my grandson, know exactly what they want to do. It might be a good idea to have a list of possibilities. Check out the TulsaKids Calendar for ideas.

Be Flexible

I like to have a plan, and it’s hard for me to switch gears once my mind is set. Kids sometimes change their minds, and that’s OK. Several times, my grandson changed his mind, and I had to do a U-turn mentally. It was his day, and I went with the flow.

Our “Yes” Day

My “Yes” day with Callister began in the evening. He has been having sleepovers with us since he was six months old, and at seven years old, he continues to love to spend the night with us. I picked him up after dinner, and the “Yes” day began with a trip to Braums for a banana split. Between the two of us, we ate about a third and brought the rest home. He was allowed to choose a television show to watch and stay up later than normal.

Before bedtime, he said he wanted to go out for breakfast. When he woke up, he decided he wanted to take it easy and asked me to cook breakfast for him. After breakfast, we played Monopoly and Polar Bear Plunge. We hadn’t played board games all summer, so it was fun. Because it was his “Yes” day, I was a good sport about going along with all his crazy, made-up rules for Monopoly. Of course, he won, which was no surprise.

Next on the agenda was a trip to Target. Normally, at this point, I would force him to allow me to tame his wild, curly hair. Because it was his “Yes” day, I ignored the chaotic curls going every which way and let him look like the feral child he strives to be. He chose Legos, and then he and his granddad worked on that project. Callister chose his (and my) favorite place, White River Fish Market, where we shared a delicious meal for lunch. By that time, he had been with me for about 18 hours, and we were both running out of steam. He was ready to be back home, and I was ready to take a nap.

The Value of a “Yes” Day

My takeaway for the day is that what we did didn’t really matter that much. What was important was the one-on-one time when he felt like he was in control and he was the focus of all my attention. I was careful not to check my phone or let myself get distracted, which was challenging for me at times. I focused on listening to what he said and was rewarded by him opening up and talking deeper than usual. He talked about friendships and some concerns he has about the upcoming school year. I followed his lead and just listened because that seemed like what he needed. We have a close relationship, but on his “Yes” day, I felt like we connected even more than usual.

On the surface, a “Yes” day sounds like a way to spoil a child, and there is some of that, but I think it goes deeper. It’s about allowing a child to feel important, heard, and loved. Who doesn’t want that? Callister told his mom he had a great “Yes” day, and I feel honored to have spent it with him. I got a few more cuddles and hugs than I usually get, so that was a welcome bonus! Next week is his little sister’s turn, and I’m looking forward to seeing what her “Yes” day will be like. The only question I have left is, “When is my ‘Yes’ day?”