Jackie and Chad Potter Build a Loving Family Through Adoption

To honor National Adoption Month, we’re introducing you to Jackie and Chad Potter. For this couple, the path to building their family began with heartbreak, but, ultimately, they found hope through adoption. As high school sweethearts, they dreamed of starting a family early in their marriage; however, they faced unimaginable loss before discovering that adoption wasn’t just an option—it was their calling. And interestingly, the idea of adoption was very familiar because Jackie herself was adopted at age 2.

TK: Can you share a little about your journey—what first led you to consider adoption?

Jackie: Chad and I were high school sweethearts and married right out of college, at 22 and 23 years old. We decided right away that we were ready to start our family. Things didn’t necessarily go as planned, and I had a late miscarriage at 20 weeks. Due to a variety of concerns with the pregnancy, Chad and I decided to look into adoption to form our family, which fortunately was a very natural option for us. My stepdad adopted me at 2 years old, so it was already part of who I was, so it just made sense that this would now be our path.

TK: Every adoption story is unique—what has been the most surprising or unexpected part of yours?

Jackie: For us, the most unexpected part of our story is how quickly everything happened. Chad is Native American and because of the Indian Child Welfare Act, Native American children are placed in Native American families. We called Chad’s Indian card our golden ticket. Within our adoption agency, there were very few Indian families, so we were often called to see if they could share about our family.

We were chosen for our oldest child after waiting for only one month. He was such a welcome gift after losing our first child at six weeks to a failed adoption. Our second child came to us when we were not even expecting her and didn’t even have our application in to adopt. She was a great surprise, putting our first and second kids only 18 months apart.

Several years later we decided to put our application back in, and we were chosen again. After five beautiful months together, we tragically lost him to SIDS. We thought after losing him that our adoption journey was finished, but little did we know, there was more to come for our story.

Our third and fourth babies came to us in an interesting way. In January of 2014, we were chosen for our fourth baby and two weeks later we were chosen for our third baby, who was already born. We met our third baby’s birth mom one afternoon, and by 5:30 that evening, she was in my arms. She was only 8 weeks old. Only two months later, our fourth baby, we lovingly refer to as our Potter caboose, arrived. Our last two children are a little over four months apart. Each of the children’s stories are so unique and precious in their own way.

TK: What have been some of the biggest challenges you’ve faced, and how have you overcome them?

Jackie: Looking back, there were so many hurdles and obstacles in our adoption journey; however, I wouldn’t change a thing. I’m afraid if I told my younger self of the tragedy that lies ahead, I may not have taken the next step. Over the course of creating our family, we’ve lost six babies, two to late miscarriages, three to failed adoption and one baby to SIDS.

In the beginning of our adoption journey, we had so many fears and wondered if anyone would like our Lifebook?  (The Lifebook is a book presented to birth families so they can get to know you.) Would a birth mom actually choose us to raise her baby? Would we be able to love the baby as if it were biologically ours? Would we attach? Would the baby attach? After a placement is made, then the ultimate fear sets in: Will our birth mom change her mind? So many questions and zero answers. Fear of the unknown was, at times, torture.

However, pushing through every fear and challenge has led to beautiful redemption in the end. We now have four beautiful children who are ours forever.

TK: What are some of the greatest joys or most rewarding moments you’ve experienced as an adoptive parent?

Jackie: We’ve been blessed with 10 children. One stayed for six weeks; two stayed for only 10 days; two went straight to heaven; one blessed us with nearly five months of joy before going to heaven, while four more fill our home with all kinds of craziness every day, forever. The absolute best part of being an adoptive parent is them, the four children that made us parents and call us mom and dad. The best part is just being a typical family with sports, school, family dinners, holidays etc. Without adoption, none of this would have been possible.

TK: What kind of support—emotional, practical or community—made the biggest difference for your family during the adoption process?

Jackie: Our family and friends were our biggest fans, our number one supporters and constant encouragers. They carried us through the deepest valleys and celebrated with us on every win. They sat, cried and prayed with us. They delivered many dinners, threw baby showers and spoiled the babies with clothes and gifts. We were covered by our family and friends and encouraged by them every step of the way!

TK: National Adoption Month is about raising awareness—what message would you most like to share with others considering adoption?

Jackie: If you’re considering adoption, I hope you realize that desire was placed on your heart for a reason. My hope and prayer is that you act on this nudging! It’s up to you to take the next step, make the phone call, fill out the paperwork. Nothing comes easy in life, why would it be any different for building your family? I encourage you to follow your heart and let God do His work in your life.

TK: What else would you like to share?

Jackie: I’m an open book. If I can answer questions for you or be a sounding board and just listen, I’m here for it. My email is jackie@jpottercollective.com. I’d love to hear from you!

To listen to the full interview, check out the Sharing Passion and Purpose Podcast with Nancy Moore on your favorite podcasting platform or directly at NancyMoore.co and select Podcast.

Nancy A. Moore is a Public Relations Coordinator at Montreau, Adjunct Professor at Tulsa Community College, and has been writing for TulsaKids for almost 20 years.