The Beauty of Boredom

Summer camp is over; family vacation is in the rearview mirror, and the final weeks of summer stretch out like a long, hot dusty trail leading to the start of the school year. While it’s tempting to pack these remaining days with scheduled activities, formal lessons or organized sports in an effort to keep teens occupied and entertained, consider the alternative – boredom. Not only is it free, but boredom can also be beneficial, providing opportunities for growth, discovery and creativity.

What is boredom?

Every parent fears it: the dreaded, universal childhood complaint, “I’m bored.” But what does that even mean, and is it a bad thing? The growing consensus in the field of psychology is that boredom is an emotion, much like anger or sadness. You feel it when an activity or situation is neither engaging nor meaningful to you. Boredom indicates the need for change, that what you’re doing right now isn’t working. Perhaps it’s too easy, too difficult, or it simply lacks meaning. While boredom is uncomfortable, the feeling is not inherently negative. How you, and your child, respond is key.

“Name it to tame it,” or, “What are you really feeling?”

“Name it to tame it” is a concept devised by Dr. Dan Siegal, a professor of psychiatry, to help kids, and people of all ages, identify what they are feeling and thus reduce the intensity of an emotion while it is occurring. When adolescents complain of boredom, often they are actually experiencing sadness, anxiety, fatigue or even hunger.

Learning to recognize and label emotions helps teens avoid a spiral of increasingly negative physical and mental reactions and gives them the space and the power to choose their response. Naming an emotion can make the difference between experiencing it and being controlled by it. In this way, boredom can be seen as an opportunity for personal growth, a chance for teens to understand what they are really feeling, why they might be feeling that way, and what they can do about it.

Tech and boredom

Managing boredom with electronic distraction is problematic. What may seem like a quick fix can often exacerbate the issue. Although there are creative and collaborative ways to interact with technology, more often, teens are passively “consuming content” when it comes to phones and computers. Beyond the mental health issues social media and the like pose for adolescents, tech as an easy solution to boredom presents other challenges.

Active, self-entertainment is a skill that requires practice and effort. Turning to screens is the opposite. Passive entertainment is so easy to access that it quickly takes the place of anything else, including spoken communication and meaningful time with others. Teens who are used to the overstimulation and “escape” it provides may develop decreased tolerance for the repetitive and routine demands of everyday life, making it harder to gain skills necessary to deal with “real life” challenges and responsibilities.

Embrace boredom

Boredom isn’t failure. It’s normal and can often be a useful indicator that something needs to change. Reframing boredom as an opportunity or an invitation facilitates a healthy response. Embracing boredom gives teens the chance to identify what they are truly feeling. They may then choose to try new activities, develop better tolerance for frustration, learn how to take initiative and entertain themselves. In the process, they’ll gain planning and problem-solving skills, build perseverance, increase confidence and facilitate self-discovery. Don’t fear it – celebrate it!

Boredom busters

While you can’t (and shouldn’t) entertain your kids all day, a little caregiver encouragement and participation goes a long way towards beating boredom and deepening relationships. Make a list of free or low-cost activities together.

• Mini book club – choose a book to read together and discuss
• Teen chef – give your teen the chance to plan and prepare a weekly meal. If your teen doesn’t drive yet, shop together in advance.
• Focus on crafts – video instruction for painting, knitting, and more can be easily found online.
• Creative use of tech – teens can write a short screenplay, design costumes and create a film to be viewed together.
• Get wet – Tulsa area park pools are open through August 10. Single and multi-day passes are available. More information at cityoftulsa.org. YMCA of Greater Tulsa and Miller Swim School have single-day options for non-members, too.
• Get outside – the greater Tulsa area is blessed with a number of free or low-cost options for getting outside. Explore miles of hiking trails at Keystone Ancient Forest (sandspringsok.org) or Turkey Mountain Urban Wilderness Area (riverparks.org). Learn to angle at one of the many local fishing holes (wildlifedepartment.com/fishing).

Julie Wenger Watson is a freelance writer who’s worked in all aspects of music promotion. She’s also Co-Director of “Live From Cain’s,” a public radio show pilot.