Oct 8, 201208:57 AMChina Mom
So you're thinking about being an older mom
I didn’t plan to be an “older mom,” it just happened that way. By the time my husband and I decided we were emotionally ready to be parents, we learned Mother Nature had other plans all along – and those plans put our plans to be parents on hold for yet another few years. By the time all those years added up I was…well, “of a certain age.”
And that’s okay. I’ve never really had a problem with being an older mom. To quote reality TV, "it is what it is." And I'm not going to extol the virtues and benefits of being an older mom vs. a younger mom. I don’t really care about that because there are good and bad points on both sides of that fence and you can read about them in most any parenting site or women’s magazine.
No, I have a bit of personal advice from this older mom to those women who are waiting to have children later on. Feel free. Do it. If that’s what you want to do or if Mother Nature is keeping you from your original plan, don’t worry – everything is going to be fine. Just know this: you are going to be exhausted. Not just “I’m a parent so I’m tired” tired but “I’m old and I’m a parent” tired.
Seriously. These kids – they have this…energy that has no bounds! And the older they get, it’s like the more they can keep going! And hey – newsflash! I’m getting older too, but I’m slowing down while my daughter is only speeding up. It’s one activity after another and she never gets tired. I suggest naps, but she just ignores me. She thinks I’m kidding! Why isn’t she tired?!
But beyond the sheer exhaustion, I find myself in my own little bubble. Sometimes I don't really know where I fit in in the mom-scape.
On the one end of the spectrum are my incredible friends with kids who are - at the youngest - in college these days. When their children were my child's age things really were different. Activities were different, school was different - even how they made their children's lunches was different. They offer advice, but there truly is an odd "generation gap" and I find myself telling women my own age, "you just don't understand."
On the other end of the spectrum are all my fabulous "mommy friends" - younger women I know through my daughter. At times I feel like I'm doing well just to keep up with them but - almost like my daughter - they have so much more energy than I do. I remember having that much energy when I was their age.
Older moms fit somewhere in between. Out of necessity, it's a balancing act between our older selves and our younger lives. More often than not, our younger lives seem to win out, which can be exhausting, and our older selves cry out for a nice long nap.