China Mom / Web 2012 / I guess I was right

May 11, 201212:43 PMChina Mom

I guess I was right

Eight years ago, during one of our homestudies, our caseworker asked me what worried me the most about becoming a mom. I remember I told her that I was most concerned about the times when our daughter would be hurt or sad and I couldn’t do anything about it to make her feel better.

We talked about that for a few minutes – about how that would happen throughout my daughter’s life, from the bumps and bruises of childhood to the emotional pains of adolescence and beyond. And we agreed that often there really would be nothing I could do about it other than hold her, comfort her and just be there for her.

I think one of us added that those would be the times that she would grow and that might be more painful for me as her mother.

After that, my caseworker asked me what I was looking forward to the most. I said I was looking forward to seeing who my daughter became – watching her personality emerge and who she would grow up to be. And feeling her arms around my neck and her head on my shoulder.

We talked a few more minutes about how the bumps and bruises - both physical and emotional - that she would experience along the way, would probably have a lot to do with who my daughter would become - as would my reactions, responses and involvement. I remember thinking that motherhood was going to be a long, bumpy ride and I was probably going to screw up. A lot.

The other day at the grocery store, I could tell my sweet daughter was tired. She’d obviously had a long day at school. She kept wrapping her arms around my leg, which made walking the aisles difficult at best. As we waited at the checkout, I picked her up and she wrapped her arms around me and laid her head on my shoulder.

I thought back to that afternoon almost eight years ago with our caseworker in my living room. Nothing has changed. I still feel the same. I'm still worried about the days my daughter is hurt. And I still love seeing who she is becoming. But those moments when she wraps her arms around my neck and lays her head on my shoulder? Those are the best. Nope, eight years and one child later, nothing has changed. It's everything I imagined. And it's awesome.

Happy Mother’s Day!