China Mom / China Mom - January 2011 / Love and loss in Mayberry, RFD

Jan 10, 201112:22 PMChina Mom

Love and loss in Mayberry, RFD

I've often said that Tulsa is Mayberry, RFD. We may be a city, but live here a while and you'll learn that we're a small town where everybody knows everybody else. And if you don't know everybody else, you know somebody who knows them and they know you.

This can be a good thing and this can be a bad thing. For example, you learn not to say anything bad about anyone because, chances are, the person you're talking to knows the person you're talking about. And it can be a good thing, because chances are the person you're talking to knows the person you're talking about - as long as what you're saying is nice.

Today, living in Mayberry is a good thing. A dear friend lost her son after his long, difficult and brave fight against a terrible disease. He was a grown man with an infant child - but that doesn't make the loss any easier. In fact, I think it makes it more difficult. Sadder. But then...when is losing a child not difficult or sad?

I learned of his passing from a friend who called me after hearing about it in our modern version of the town square: Facebook. She said "it's all over Facebook and I wanted to be sure you knew." My friend knew the son and knows I know his mother. Remember, this is Mayberry - we all know each other and each other's business.

I rushed to the town square by logging onto Facebook. She was right. News of his passing was all over the place. My friend has posted photos of her son and the comments filled my screen - many from mutual friends and several from friends I didn't realize we had in common. All expressing their deepest sympathy, love and condolences in this time of unspeakable loss.

His sister had also posted a comment about her brother's passing and once again, I was amazed at how many friends we had in common, as well. Six degrees of separation? In Tulsa, I think it's more like one or two degrees.

And personally, I find that comforting. Especially in times like this when you need your friends - and friends of friends - to gather around you and hold you up when you can barely stand alone.

And that's when living in Mayberry, RFD is a good thing. A very good thing.