China Mom / April 2011 / I see a princess...through my tears

Apr 12, 201109:31 PMChina Mom

I see a princess...through my tears

I'm such a sap. There I was this morning, in my daughter's ballet class' "parent watch day" watching what I guess is best described as "dress dress rehearsal" for her dance recital. Through teary eyes.

There she was twirling and leaping to "I See a Princess" from The Princess and the Frog and I was glad I could hide behind my camcorder so no one could see my misty eyes.

See? Such a sap. Why do I get so emotional over such things?

Every time I watch her dance or sing onstage or flip on an uneven bar I get all choked up. Is it because I know she enjoys it so much? Is it because I waited so long for these moments? Or is it something more? Something deeper?

Is it because I see that flicker of a little girl who could have grown up in an orphanage, never knowing this moment? Is it knowing that this little girl - who fancies herself a "real princess" - actually has a chance to be one, on stage, thanks to the miracle of adoption?

I think it's all these things and more. I don't want to take an imperialistic view of adoption. I hate it when people tell me she's a lucky little girl to have me as a mother. Because the truth is, I'm a the lucky one. She gives me so much - moments like today are just the tip of the iceberg.

But I do believe that through the miracle of adoption, she has chances she might never have had. Chances to dance and twirl and feel the freedom that comes from dancing on a big stage. In a beautiful costume. To pretty music.

Or the empowerment that comes from flipping over an uneven bar after being so scared to do that for so many months. Or kick a soccer ball into a net.

Or have your mommy's arms hug you tight when you've had a really bad day.

So, yeah...I'm a sap. Because when I watch my daughter dance, I see so much more. I see hope, encouragement, empowerment and most of all, I see love.