Apr 10, 201211:33 AMBaby Love
The Secret Life of the Pregnant Woman
Nothing is more mysterious than the nocturnal habits of a pregnant woman (I say in my best Discovery Channel voice).
I've hit that point in my pregnancy where I'm up a minimum of five times a night to use the restroom.
It never fails. Every night around 8-9 p.m., I become extremely thirsty. I'll down glasses and glasses of water, knowing all-too-well that I'll be paying for it later.
If you're picturing a quick jump in and out of bed, you'd be very wrong.
More often than not, I've got a two-year-old pretzeled in between my arms. So, I must slowly untwine us. Then, I've got the ol' stiff back issue that makes the first couple of steps out of bed look more like I'm walking in quick sand.
While I'm working that out, I suddenly realize that I have to go much worse than I first thought.
Next, my neurotic Basset Hound usually comes to see what's happening, so I quietly shush him back to his bed hoping his nails on the wood floor don''t wake up everyone. The shushing wakes up our other Basset Hound, and then they're both joining me in the bathroom.
I've gotten smart and have started leaving multiple rolls of toilet paper in my bathroom at all times so that I don't have to go into the closet to get them. There is no telling how many rolls of toilet paper a pregnant lady goes through in 40 weeks!
Then the big flush debate happens. I mean, isn't a toilet flushing in the middle of the night THE LOUDEST sound on earth?
Well, now, I'm already up....so, might as well get a snack, right? Right. Of course, the dogs think they may get something, so they're joining me once again.
I've made a rule though, nothing but fruits and veggies after 9 p.m. I thought this was a good thing until my husband complained about 1) finding carrots in the sheets and 2) apples and carrots aren't exactly the most quiet things to gnaw on at 3 a.m.
Anyways, as I'm having my snack, I'll check a little Pinterest, maybe a little Facebook, debate whether or not just to get up to get some work done....then, somehow I fall back asleep only to repeat the process all over again in 2-3 hours.
All part of nature's lovely way of getting me ready to become one with the owls, raccoons and infomercials.
On our next installment of "The Secret Life of the Pregnant Woman," we will look into the mysterious, and somewhat dangerous, ailment known as PREGNANT BRAIN. It's real and you could be next!