Dec 8, 201101:57 PMBaby Love
Reservations in Reproduction
I had a dream two nights ago that was the most obvious form of my subconscious screaming that I've ever come across. It came after my son fell asleep--pretzled between my right arm and leg. While co-sleeping has it's negatives, this is not one of them. I lay there thinking how much I love being this close to my son when it all of the sudden hit me that this lovely, calm falling asleep routine had an expiration date on it in the form of his little brother/sister coming in June. How soon we forget that these little angels don't sleep through the night for months, years even.
"What am I going to do?" I panicked. "How am I going to divide up my time, especially night-night time, between the two? Will Bennett's sleep be disrupted, too? This co-sleeping thing was a huge mistake!"
With that in mind, I fell asleep and dreamt....I was leaving my OB's office. I was walking along, happily looking at my new ultrasound photo. Got in my car, phone rang..
"You forgot your son in our office."
With that I woke up.
So, yes, I'm having a little anxiety. I know I have enough love for both, but I'm starting to see how far we've come since our son was a baby. It's so easy now. You could bet money on our routine and I'm basically guaranteed 10 hours of sleep from him, sometimes 12.
I see new moms looking absolutely exhausted and I remember that feeling oh so well. I, too, will re-join zombie land soon.
It's worth it, I know.
Women do it all the time, I know.
It won't be easy, I KNOW.