Feb 6, 201212:19 PMBaby Love

Prepping Baby #1 For Baby #2

Feb 6, 2012 - 12:19 PM

It's funny how my pregnancy concerns have changed this go 'round. We've got all the stuff and this time I know that I'll really only need about 30% of the stuff.  This time, I'm mostly worried about Baby #1.

Oh, my sweet little boy. He really is sweet...most of the time. But like most of you, I have spent every minute of his life catering to his every need. Some days I wonder why I was in such a hurry for him to say "Mommmmmaaaaaa" because now he says it over and over and louder and louder until either I come to his rescue, or he gives up to come find me. Times like these make me get a little panicky.  I start to envision me nursing a newborn while also trying to get his cars that have rolled under the couch for the hundredth time that day.

He is almost 26-months-old and not really showing signs that potty training is on his radar. He is, however, getting very annoyed that "Mommmmaaaaa" has to interrupt story time to pee constantly. I get his point. It's annoying to me, too. Wouldn't it be nice if I could get him potty trained before the baby gets here? *sigh*

I've mentioned that he sleeps with us, right? Which I love, by the way. He's a snuggler and 90% of the time, it's not a problem (I better throw in 75% in his father's case).  My concern is that with the baby coming, will all the middle of the night time feeding effect his sleeping? I know that I'll be a sleep-deprived zombie, but I can't throw a sleep-deprived toddler into that mix. I'd love to hear some feedback from anyone who has experience with this.

I want to prepare him for what's going to happen as much as you can prepare a 2-year-old.

So far, in my reading, I've learned that it's important to not change up his schedule too much. Even though I'll be home with the baby, he should continue on with his current MDO schedule, gymnastics, bedtime, etc. Obviously things are going to change, but as with all parenting to-dos, consistency is key.

I got him a baby doll after taking a mental note of Natural Mom's article from last August. He's very sweet with it...most of the time.

I've also heard that it can be frightening for children to see their mommmaaas in the hospital bed, so I plan to take him to this Sibling Family Tour at St. John's (where I'll be delivering).

If you know of any other classes or helpful tips for preparing a future big brother. I'd love to hear it!

Old to new | New to old
Feb 7, 2012 09:58 am
 Posted by  Jill VT

I am going to get all opionated here, but if there's one thing I know about in this world, it's bringing home a new baby. So here goes:

1) The whole bit about the first kid being irreparably damaged because he is not the center of your universe anymore is totally overblown. All of my children have been tinkled pink to have a new baby around; they know instinctively it's a wonderful thing to have a new member of the family. If they are at all put it, it's because their mom is tired or not as available. Which brings me to:

2) It is a GOOD thing for a kid to learn that mom is not his personal servant and maid. A bit of independence and patience is a great lesson at any over 18 months!

3) I wouldn't even TRY potty training a boy until he is closer to three. Two in diapers is a LOT easier than one in diapers and one sort of potty trained.

4) Unless he really loves school, I would save yourself the expense when you're on maternity leave! Routine? They know things have changed. When I worked, I loved having my two kids home with me on maternity leave, since it was such a short time, and you learn - all of you - how to be a family. Plus I always thought the first one would rather be at home with mom and baby then sent off to school!

5) I always co-sleep with my newborn (come get me DHS), but not my toddler - maybe you could get him a little bed in your room to start weaning him off your bed? That will be tough, having two in the bed with you - hard for anyone to sleep, I would think. Not sure!

OK, enough from me.

Feb 9, 2012 04:12 am
 Posted by  shadlowlk

Hmm, maybe you could find a good child psychologist to give you some expert advice on this one. (wink, wink)

Seriously, from a mama who has been there double time, I was nursing the twins while my three year old was finding a spot in my lap and my then five year old was trying to slip in between my over-expanded hip and the arm of the chair. Stop now!! Putting a crib or toddler bed in your room if you want so that he knows you're there is a good plan if you want but make sure you get your bed back before the new baby comes! You can make it fun for him with a star chart where he gets a "special treat" each morning if he stays in his big boy bed all night. That works great for potty training too. My first was trained just weeks before his little sister arrived! Whew... It's an amazingly crazy and fabulously fun ride being a parent and it changes soooo much with each new addition!

Feb 9, 2012 04:38 am
 Posted by  shadlowlk

Another thing that was fun and kept the older child from being "de-throned" by the new arrival was to create an "expert" out of him or her. I involved the older child in the preparation for the baby (or babies) by asking his or her opinion on names, toys, clothes, whatever. They were my little helpers and I told everyone I didn't know "what I would do without their help".

When the older child came to the hospital to see me and the baby (or babies) I had a gift "from the baby" for the older child. Also, the older children picked out a special gift for the new baby with dad.

Also, be sure you prepare him in advance for the special time he will have home with daddy (or grandma, grandpa, etc.) while mommy is in the hospital. That way, it will seem more like a treat rather than something he should be dreading.

Still, be prepared for reversion to babyish behavior from time to time. One of my favorite photos of my oldest is from when I brought his baby sister home. When I couldn't find him after having changed the baby and put her down for a nap, I looked in the living room and found him curled up in the infant carrier taking a nap of his own!

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About This Blog

The first years of motherhood are the most educational years of your life.  Abby Rodgers shares the highs, the lows, the love and complete shock of being a new mom.  She'll write what she has learned and also seek advice from you about things she has yet to figure out.  Abby keeps it real with a little humor and a lot of love. 

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