Joe Kelley's August Twitter Musings
Many TulsaKids readers may know me from my role as host of the KRMG Morning News. But at home, I’m known only for one thing: Being Daddy. As my wife and I observe and interact with our three small children, I keep an instant diary, 140 characters at a time, on Twitter. The following is my spontaneous stream of consciousness as I observe my family:
HOLY COW! How come no one told me about Magic Erasers? I just took Sharpie ink off wooden dining room table! WOODEN DINING ROOM TABLE!
Wife & daughter out of town. Twins asleep. I’ll be live-tweeting me eating a half-gallon of Blue Bell ice cream. Live coverage begins at 9.
I have been at work for 8 hours and not one person has complimented my new shoes. Now I know EXACTLY the struggle Margaret Thatcher faced.
Am I the only one who ducks while driving through a parking garage?
6YO Brooks: “Daddy, Brooks want to help.” OK. Good. You can start by not calling yourself ‘Brooks.’
You know that body language a dog makes just before he barfs? Dutch the Rescue Dog just tragically reminded me what it looks like.
My 8YO daughter has started using the word “literally.” Remarkably, she’s used it correctly each time. Yet, I remain ready to pounce.
Dutch, our new rescue pup, is protesting his new dog food. “Dude. I have 3 small kids. I laugh at your food protest.”
I was reminiscing with my wife about a concert we saw together in the 1990s. The fun ended when she told me she never went to that concert.
“Daddy,” 6YO Brooks says, “We can swim alone, cause Dutch is a rescue dog.” I’m afraid he’s not THAT kind of rescue dog, bud.
My wife just started showing me paint samples. So my question is, how effectively do you think I can fake a heart attack?
Can’t we all agree to eliminate the question “Did you get my email?” from our language? If you sent it, I got it.
8YO Sierra: Daddy, I lost my front-punch-forward-roll-round-off-back-handspring-tuck. Me: Me, 2! I think I left mine in the car. #cheerhumor
I would like a list of names, phone numbers and addresses of each and every one of you people that said you couldn’t wait until summer. Now.
8YO Sierra asked me what the lady in the mugshot did. Inappropriate things, I told her. “You mean like cussing?” she whispered.
6YO Hudson is going for a record with this current temper tantrum. I’m not sure he even recalls what started it. I know I don’t recall.